tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8679637238769603836.post3371812341214857179..comments2024-03-12T10:11:16.874-07:00Comments on Postcards from Purgatory: Life at Dysfunction Junction (1 in a series)Gladyshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03379796403577898107noreply@blogger.comBlogger4125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8679637238769603836.post-18859063732535621992012-11-30T07:15:34.359-08:002012-11-30T07:15:34.359-08:00It continues to amaze me that not matter what our...It continues to amaze me that not matter what our abuse - from soup to nuts - we all ended up with the same baggage. Child abuse begets SO MUCH of a horrible legacy. <br /><br />It is really a trip to me that we all suffer from the exact same issues, possibly (likely) on differing levels but STILL. Physical, emotional, verbal - abuse is abuse is abuse.Gladyshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03379796403577898107noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8679637238769603836.post-75879542250495144542012-11-28T09:08:35.277-08:002012-11-28T09:08:35.277-08:00My NM's father was/is an alcoholic. I know he...My NM's father was/is an alcoholic. I know her childhood was rough due to it. Lots of hauling him out of bars, fights, terrorized by him. Her mother was the narc (although maybe he is too). She was a childish, socially inept woman who rarely left the house as she got older (and even when she had a young family). She pawned a lot of her mothering off on my mother. My mother drinks, but I don't know if to excess. She hides things a lot. Because she's perfect. My sister is an alcoholic. It must go hand in hand with narcissism. jessiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06399613921768190064noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8679637238769603836.post-24417194783954933912012-11-28T07:57:21.687-08:002012-11-28T07:57:21.687-08:00Eesh - sounds like what we know of NSIL. We believ...Eesh - sounds like what we know of NSIL. We believe NMIL's father was an alcoholic, and one of her brothers is rumored to be <---shows how little they have worked at their dysfunctions - they aren't even honest about it so no one really knows. That NMIL's father was an alcoholic was about all anyone knew about the man, from my understanding. DH doesn't know much about any of his distant relatives, and when he tried to ask (in 2009) his uncles flat out ignored him, his Naunt gave him some quick superficial bullshit, and his NMIL asked "if she could talk about it over the phone," to which DH responded, "No." and then it was never discussed again.<br /><br />So. About all we know is that some of them may or may not be alcoholics some of the time.<br /><br />Vague. Just the way the narcs like it. Suffice it to say, I do think there was/is raging alcoholism that went/is going on. NSIL hasn't escaped that legacy.Jonsihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17517677634712242866noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8679637238769603836.post-51180281056620035102012-11-28T06:03:00.330-08:002012-11-28T06:03:00.330-08:00Was given sips of NF's beer at age 5. Drinking...Was given sips of NF's beer at age 5. Drinking at family gatherings was allowed and encouraged. That's how the N grandparents bribed their SG daughter, my poor alcoholic aunt, to stay trapped for life, even after they died.<br /><br />Got drunk at 13 for the first time, regular drinker since 15. My daddy thought that was fine. Mixing 3 different drinks and pot, puking often. Drinking was like a self-destructive religion to me. I could drink a lot and was proud of it.<br /><br />Met DH at age 18. He very rarely drank very small quantities. He didn't think drinking was cool, so my enthusiasm waned a little, but still depression kept me controlled by alcohol. <br /><br />Toned down significantly in the past few years - learning about NPD helped me uncover the root causes. Now, 2 beers after dinner 3 times a week; more than that (3-4) maybe once every two weeks, with friends. I can actually live like this - as in, really live life.<br /><br />So great to see you dealing with this part of your legacy. I've yet to meet a drinker who had wonderful, truly loving parents and a great childhood.Pronoia Agapehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07818746040570182407noreply@blogger.com