Then I thought "yeesh, all of us in the same room acting like social misfits" and I laughed because can you imagine? All of us asking each other if everything is OK and all of us needing to go hide in the bathroom to take a break and then - THEN I thought of this skit and come on. IT IS US.
The Twit Contest. I hope you watch it - and I hope it makes you laugh. It's Monty Python and British humor but freaking FUNNY.
NIGEL HAS RUN HIMSELF OVER!, Oh what a great twit
I spy with my little eye Glady's new post but youtube is fucking up and I can't hear anything on there. I think I remember this specifically and I know Monty Python in general so I see where this is all going and I think I am offended and plan on taking this up with the ministry of silly walks.
ReplyDeleteYour parrot is dead. It is an EX PARROT.
DeleteI'm not an introvert! We can have the ULB party at my house.
ReplyDeleteHiyo Jonsi what be up with you?
ReplyDeleteAwww Q, didja miss me?
DeleteBut of course!
DeleteHI JONSI! We've missed you!
ReplyDeleteHullo Hullo!
DeleteI'm slowly working my way back. Haven't had much time these days to write, that's all. I do have some things to write about and LOTS of catch-up reading to do. I miss you guys too!
I got the sound working on youtube. I had inadvertently stepped on the power strip with my huge buffoon clown like feet and shoes and turned off the power to my speakers.
ReplyDeletehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D9rtmtyb_Jw
(q, That's something I would do...I keep getting kicked off the 'net, damnit...That's whatcha get for livin' in the butt-hole of the universe...End of mini-rant.)
ReplyDeleteHiya Jonsi!!
Hiya Gladys! ULB Twit-dom: Accept no substitutes! A buncha get-down honest peeps all of whom know the salutatory effects of humor, appreciate the reality life is pretty damn hysterical at times and have multiple moving parts that work in synchronicity and harmony with the universe when we're not wailing the shit out of it. If that run-on sentence made sense to you, welcome to the world of the brain damaged. AND, BTW, I"M OFFENDED!!!! Those Imitation-Twits were making fun of brain-damaged peeps AND THAT'S NOT FAIR! THat's NOT PC!!!! I'M ODD, sure, but now I'm ODDLY OFFENDED!! In fact, I"M OUTRAGED TOO!! The humanity-ooohhh, THE HUMANITY!!! In fact, I'm so oddly outraged/offended/etc. I think I'll just flounce off to the kitchen for another cuppa coffee and hope I'm still in the world of connectivity when I get back. In the meantime, ULBs Of The World, UNITE!!! RISE UP!!! The rest of you, remain seated.
We will now distribute ULB Handicapped Parking Permits to hang on your rear-view mirror which will further reduce your visibility and ensure you will never parallel park the same way again courtesy of some back-woods Town Barn Secretary who stepped out for a smoke and left the office unguarded against resident scofflaws and other opportunists who didn't get a Bail-Out from their last ticket in -30/off in a ditch/went lookin' for Help and a Trooper found the vehicle in the ditch before Help arrived and issued a Parking Ticket. Guaran-fuckin'-TEED, you can park any damn place ya want with one of them thar things! You can RUN people OFF THE ROAD and never glance at the wreckage in your rear-view mirror!-not that you could see it anyway! You can run people over with IMPUNITY with one of them thar things! Handicapped Parking Permits are cheaper, more effective, more honest, reliable, don't give a crap about "Billable Hours," have more integrity and a lot less BS than an attorney. In fact, they are the Ultimate Get Outta Jail Free Card! You too can pull an OJ and lead the entire mess of Law Enforcement on a low-speed (keep it under 30, please) "chase" over hill, mountain, river, closed bridges, seasonal roads that are never "In Season" etc. while totally engrossed in the scenery and totally oblivious to the pack-'o-screaming sirens, lights, horns in cold pursuit until you run out of gas/reach your destination, which ever comes first. Flash 'em yo handi Handicapped Parking Permit and watch 'em scratch their heads, crotches, trigger fingers etc. while they gather in a Jaysus-Huddle trying to figger out which V&T you haven't committed in the last bibty miles. Won't matter if a strong odor of last night's/this morning's JD hangs like a skunk-threatened malodorous stench over the scene, you got your Handicapped Parking Permit SO THERE!! Since it's portable, you kin hang that mo-fo ANYWHERE on ANYTHING including q's "low-hangin' fruit"-iness or a Rusted Red-Neck Reclining Lawn Chair! Tired of ignorant others who air kiss asses and various other non-domestic animules while squealing, "You? YOU? YOU'RE DISABLED?!! You don't LOOK DISABLED TO MEEEEEE!!!" Fed up with general obnoxiousness and muttered comments in parking lots when you furtively pull into a designated parking spot for Special People who don't LOOK DISABLED and therefore, in YOUR Medical Opinion (so what if ya never got yo GED , you KNOW Better!!) AREN'T? I think there's a Comment Limit and I do know better (than SOME people) than to make run-on comments but I'm brain damaged AND DAMN PROUD OF IT! So, what's yer excuse?
To All the ULBs, Eternal Love (and Gratuities Accepted), HERE are your OFFICIAL Cyber ULB "Life-Made-Me-Do-It" for Not-Cluster-Bees Handicapped Parking Permits!! (And TGIF!)
TW
Love when one of our little gang does a major spew! Shows how safe and comfortable we are here.
Delete(Of course, this was TW just getting warmed up.)
TW, that was awesome.
DeleteMy mother used to BITCH about people, like "look how fat that man is!" and all that shit - I started saying "maybe there is an issue that you don't see?" Then I started saying "maybe her husband just died of cancer and she is in the depths of despair" - she drove me crazy.
Judging who is handicapped from how they look is never a good idea - I mean, I look normal now don't I?
There are doctors who examine me and think I am good as new, but they never saw me until after all my bullshit was over. I look like death warmed over and just because I can string six words together without stuttering and triggering a seizure doesn't make me well. And I have a handicapped parking pass.
DeleteSo TW are you out of decaf?
ReplyDeleteHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHA
Stay tuned I feel a rant coming on.
ReplyDeleteNo.
ReplyDeleteXanax.
;)
TW
I'm sorry guys. That was just pent up frustration. The weather has turned nicer and my Stalker is back. HE has a handicapped parking permit which allows him to park any damn place he wants up the road from my place and then cut back through the woods. This is the third summer of this crap. Every time I route him outta one Hidey-Hole, he just moves to another location. He's not dangerous, just a pest yk?
ReplyDeleteI wish he'd be considerate enough to clean up his beer cans since he doesn't seem to be doing much of anything else except trying to figure out how to evade my flood sensor lights.
Thanks for understanding I just needed to get that out.
TW
THat is creepy I have been meaning to ask you about him but wanted to let sleeping hobo's ly.
ReplyDeleteI thought his most recent DWI would keep him more confined to his locale. Shoulda remembered a Drivers License is "just a piece of paper."
ReplyDeleteTW