Twit of the Year

So I commented on Q's blog about how wouldn't it be great if all of us ULBs could meet in person and then I thought, you know - we're all introverts and social misfits and getting us all to agree to meet would be tres difficult

Then I thought "yeesh, all of us in the same room acting like social misfits" and I laughed because can you imagine?  All of us asking each other if everything is OK and all of us needing to go hide in the bathroom to take a break and then - THEN I thought of this skit and come on.  IT IS US.

The Twit Contest.  I hope you watch it - and I hope it makes you laugh.  It's Monty Python and British humor but freaking FUNNY.

NIGEL HAS RUN HIMSELF OVER!, Oh what a great twit

Passive Agressive attacks - the hallmark of a narcissist

There has been this thing with Q and his comment over on this blog. 

She wrote about poop, and then Q commented something about 'crap' - you can read the whole thing on his blog here. 

Firstly, how can you not get the connection between what she wrote about (poop) and his comment (crap)?  Even taking into account that inflection and tone is lost sometimes in the written word, that comment was sarcastic and funny.

two-ly (?), Q said he apologized and clarified to her with no response.  Weird.

thirdly - I tried to 'splain it to her, twice.  I was even being all REASONABLE and GROWN UP and shit.  But my comments are moldering in her in-box.  See below:

1st comment:
Your comment is awaiting moderation.

June 15, 2013 at 12:42 pm ∞

I think, knowing Q, that he was being funny with thge crap/poop thing. Like sorta Alanis Ironical.

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2nd Comment:

Your comment is awaiting moderation.

June 17, 2013 at 11:25 am ∞

I tried to tell you he was being sarcastic, but my comment appears to still be in moderation. He really was joking. Evidently he has tried to tell you he was joking, a coupla different ways (here and twitter?). I’m not understanding why you are continuing with your assumption that he was trolling you?
Your blog, I know I know, but why the insistence on being offended or whatever when he has offered a mea culpa… ?
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So here's my question/thoughts.  Say someone says something to you and it hurts/offends you.  Then that person says "oh jeebus, sorry, I didn't mean it like that it came out wrong, here's what I meant, sorry" - sure, perhaps the sting is still there, but why not acknowledge the misunderstanding as just that, and move on?

In this case, the blogger is getting lots of hits (mine among them because I kept looking to see if she had published or responded to my comments) and perhaps that is her point, her prerogative and fine and dandy.  But she's a psychologist/therapist...

This insistence on being offended - Q is having problems with Lisa/John over this same thing.  Professional victim-hood? 

There is a level of self-honesty that I see in ACoNs.  We KNOW we are broken, and we take that into account (probably too much so) in all interactions with people. Some people are self-aware, and able to see both sides of an encounter.  We all know what it is like to be attacked, but do all of us remember what it was like to be the attacker in an erroneous situation?  ALL of us have used a nuclear bomb when a bullet might have done the trick.  We have ALL been SO OFFENDED by something that was innocuous and not meant. 

We have all also been the target of passive-aggressive attacks that can be hidden behind the exact same excuses.  So I'm guessing some people have not yet gotten beyond the hurt of those passive-aggressive darts.  Haven't gotten to the self-aware portion of the program.

The fact that the person in question is a FAMILY THERAPIST sends chills up my spine.

The alcoholic tries to dry out again.

All y'all have so much going on - still fighting the narc fight.  Still battling it out betwixt good & evil.  Still walking and talking the walk and talk.

All I got is an internal battle so old it needs Ben-gay to get its dander up.  I'm sick of IT and I'm sick of me and I'm sick of talk talk talking because here I am AGAIN fucking again, like a horse race I'm so far behind I think I'm ahead.

I get all centered and peaceful and something comes along and tosses me like a damned dwarf and I let it shape my reality.

I suffered under a narcissist but I harbor no illusions that he/they were of the malignant variety.  Where I was ignored and sidelined and yes abused (which was bad, don't get me wrong), most of you all were in the Auschwitz to my Orphan Asylum.  So many have dealt with so much worse and come out light years ahead of where I am emotionally.  Mentally.  Psycho-ly.

I srsly thought of taking my blarg down because SERIOUSLY.  I mean, read y'own archives, bitch! We been here so many times they save us a seat.

I read you all and read your struggles and your progress and your fucking BATTLES with like BRAIN TUMORS and horrifying mothers and fathers and BROTHERS and MILs and ET SETT ER UH. 

I have geraniums on my patio.  I believe in ghosts and positive energy wahhh! and I'm all personal power, wheee! and YET I'm fucking FIFTY TWO YEARS OLD and yes.  TW, you were so right, progress not perfection, right?  But I've been buying and selling this same shirt for so fucking long and look!  Nobody else is in line to buy it OR sell it!  LA LA LA it's just ME!

I married a broken guy, and lo and behold we have problems, but he tells me he loves me more than pants and I love him right back and I'm really fairly happy and HONESTLY NOW - wouldn't I have problems anywhere I was?  Cos, let's say it together - no matter where you are, there you are.

OH OBV., I am not taking this blog down.  I have to stop running away from myself.  How's this --> I HATE that I was honest and told all my crap in typical vomit-the-story-on-everyone fashion.  Because DUH I can't revise my own history now like I've been taught to do from the git go.  And no, I don't need y'all to tell me it's FINE because yes I know it is, it's FINE and I'm me and I actually DID get back up faster this time, I'm at peace faster this time, so yes progress but shitballs.  I bore myself.

When I hear the phrase "let's go have a drink", this is what I see in my head:

What a drink actually tastes like (so why drink it?  I dunno, axe my brain)



this is how I think we look at a bar:

 

And the reality:

And then there's this.  Like, too often to be ignored.

So yeah.  there's another truth to nail my mouth shut.