**ETA* Isn't 5 about the age where kids start to get autonomous? Haven't I read a gabillion times that narcissistic abuse from parents REALLY manifests when a child reaches an age where they start to have likes and dislikes apart from what mommy and daddy have? I do not think it is a coincidence that she stopped talking about him when he was 5. He was a pretty smart kid, I bet he started 1st grade early. It's not a coincidence either that he killed first graders.**
Inside the front page of The Washington Post today is an article by Peter Hermann and Michael S. Rosenwald, titled "Sketch of shooter emerges: Smart loner familiar with firearms".
I am of the (probably ill-formed) opinion that with these types of massacres, one must immediately look to the family of the killer. IMMEDIATELY.
According to the story, Nancy Lanza (Adam Lanza's mother) owned a lot of guns. "..she liked the single mindedness of shooting." She was a participant in a "neighborhood dice game' (HELLO, BUNCO, my old nemesis). She played this traveling dice game for 15 YEARS. "Rhonda Collens, a frequent player in the game, said that while the group's weekly get-togethers moved from house to house, Nancy Lanza's house was always skipped. She [Collens] never met Adam Lanza, and Nancy never spoke of her children."
OK, I'd like to repeat that last, emphesis now MINE: NANCY NEVER SPOKE OF HER CHILDREN. In 15 fucking years, nobody in that WEEKLY (devil's) game EVER heard this fucking bitch ever talk about her kids. Adam was 20 at the time of the massacre, and so from the age OF FIVE FUCKING YEARS OLD she didn't talk about her kids?
WHAT. THE. FUCK.
She never let anyone inside the house. She paid the landscaper outside. She brought antique guns outside if she wanted to show them off.
People described Adam as "a loner, shy, brilliant, interested in gaming and computers... He carried a briefcase instead of a backpack..." Sounds like he was completely socially retarded, from probably the AGE OF 5 - how old were the children he killed?? When did the abuse start?? FUCK ME.
"Acquantinces recall that Nancy Lanza was a regular presence at My Place, the town watering hole and eatery. She liked craft beers" I just looked this place up. It is "FAMILY FRIENDLY". She could have taken her kids out for pizza any time in the last 15 years. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Look. I'm glad he's dead. MY version of justice would make you sick to your stomach so I wont say what I would have done to this guy if that had been MY baby killed. I'm a vigilante at heart. I also am not going to go into the whole gun control issue, and honestly people, I don't want comments about fucking gun control as THAT IS NOT THE POINT OF MY POST. Go discuss politics on your blog.
The real info is going to be all about his mother. HIS FUCKING NARCISSISTIC CRUEL TORTURING MOTHER. Sure, there are probably sociopaths born to completely nice, harmless people, but I am willing to bet both of my dogs that the more likely scenario is that sociopaths are either 1: born to people who pass on the mental defect through DNA, and are then subjected to sociopathy and learn it better and better or 2: are normal babies born to narcissists or other personality disordered people and are FORMED into mentally-malformed beasts through this uneasy aliance. ANY of us could have turned out like this.
Because if my kid had been that weird, the wierd that YOU WOULD NOTICE, I would've gotten him help. Therapy. NORMAL people wouldn't just let it go, lock them inside, not speak of them. Normal parents would worry and get help.
His mother deserves MY kind of justice. My hate for this disgusting bag of human entrails knows no bounds. And now she gets to be remembered as one of the victims. I am out of words.
You'd be hard pressed to find a mother as bad as mine outside of prison. But I have made it 54 years without flipping out.
ReplyDeleteThat's why it's so hard to settle on nature versus nurture.
You can cite stat's to prove both sides.
I know Q - that's what I mean. ANY of us could have been this kid. His tenuous grasp of himself snapped. People who had serious childhood abuse, like you, TW, Upsi, Mulder, Vanci - jesus it makes my head hurt to think why there aren't MORE of these murderous kids running amok.
DeleteMy mother directed her crap more at my father. Other than the main events, her day to day BS was kept away from us.
ReplyDeleteI think, emphasis on think, that you have to have something fundamental missing up front for the other to get a toe hold and wiggle you apart.
The thought of harming a child is just crazy. I never lost that paternal instinct what ever else she took.
As contrary as this may sound it was paternal instinct that led to me getting fixed. I was like, I can hardly drag my own ass through this life, so I really don't think I should be creating another one.
Yes, exactly. Adam Baby Killer was a few eggs short of a basket ANYway. And your statement about getting fixed - that's why I only had the one kid. I just couldn't see trying SO HARD not to fuck up more than one. It exhausted me every day, to out-think my childhood programming.
DeletePA. I don't know. I was more raised by my grandmother than any one else. The same grandmother that brought up my mother. My grandmother was sort of engulfing, but she was not disordered.
ReplyDeleteThat's what makes my mom such an enigma.
They used to talk about my mother putting chewing gum in the cats whiskers etc. I thought it was funny.
But now I wonder.
Q - this is what I mean. Your mother's PARENTS should have known something was NOT RIGHT with her. Putting gum in the cat's whiskers sounds a lot like Jeffrey Dahmer. And her parents just sort of blew it off. (I'M TOTALLY GUESSING, I know I do not know your grandparents. Your grandmother sounds kind.) And then your bitch of a mother gave birth to you and your Sis, two NOT personality-disordered kids. So DNA? Or nurture? I have no idea.
DeleteIf NORMAL-personalitied (totally a word) parents happen to give birth to personality-disordered kids, wouldn't you think THOSE parents would try and get help for their kid? If Lanza was a weirdo from birth, then Nancy should have been on the ball, not locking the doors, collecting guns and drinking craft beers while nobody ever heard about her kids. It's just ODD.
YES, PA - yes, my point exactly. Somehow someway, some normal kids born to sociopathic parents make it out ok.
ReplyDeleteBut some kids are also sociopathic at birth, or are persecuted beyond their capacity to take it - that's when hell breaks loose.
I don't think it was ever in the cards for my mother to be normal. I will speak with authority on her but no one else. She came out of the womb defective. I don't have many childhood stories about her but I know what she was like as an adult. Every thought that passes through that pointy head are bad ones.
ReplyDeleteShe used to tell me that her and some kid from down the road were playing in the hay loft and that he tried to push her out.
I have no doubt that it was really her pushing him.
My father was warned by one of Psychob's older sisters NOT to marry her: She was a "Problem" from the get, different from all the other sibs. She was the second youngest, the youngest girl.
ReplyDeleteHe should have listened. He was on a rebound from Wife #1's suicide secondary to post-partum depression. The Predator saw easy pickin's. She'd make it all OK by Love Bombing him. By cutting off all contact with his only child, a baby and they'd start "new."
He was born in 1908, she was born in 1923. An older, affluent man to take care of her, the little tantrum-throwing girl pretending to be woman. He indulged her beyond reason or belief, she tried to destroy him bit by bit.
I just don't understand WTF ANYONE is doing with an assault rifle. Everyone here is locked-'n-loaded. It's VERY rural and we have rabid animals. A .22 works fine and will stop a bear.
Psychob had no use for me or Nsis unless we were a source of "Bragging Rights." And a guaranteed way of keeping Dad around. Otherwise, we didn't exist either. Sent away, here, there, every where: Boarding School for Nsis which just fed her sense of entitlement. ANYWHERE for me. Unless I was "useful." Then I could be trotted out for her Dog and Pony show. She took the expression, "Children should be seen and not heard" to obscene levels: Not "seen," never "heard." What ever suited Psychob and her whim of the moment.
TW
Dude, Gladys. We're on the same fucking wavelength here. The same. I've been on this one for days now.
ReplyDeleteIt ALWAYS goes back to the mother.
Hmmm...I guess some people could be born sociopathic....but I feel like something's got to be wrong with their parents for the kid to be born evil.
ReplyDeleteI guess what I'm saying is I don't think Adam Lanza was born sociopathic. Adam isn't on the same level as our moms. HIS mom is on the same level as our moms. So Adam wasn't born psycho. Adam isn't a psychopath.
We were abused, and he was abused worse. If he did worse things, it must be because he was treated worse. It must mean he was treated worse. He didn't get to be human. But he was human. If he wasn't human, he wouldn't have gone after her. He wouldn't have killed a bunch of kids and then himself. He wouldn't have done that.
Exactly. I am hearing reports now that he had Aspergers and was difficult to control. I call bullshit to that. But we may never know - the role of 'mother as god' is so firmly entrenched in this society we may NEVER hear the truth.
DeleteI say good post, with a heavy heart. Having known what maternal rejection is, at first hand. You may wait and beg for a million years, but a hard woman's heart never melts. Some of us have guardian angels watching over us. I learnt to bear the sorrow and anger by learning to find beauty and tranquility in the nooks and corners of life. May all receive some drops of love- even from a stray cat or dog, or in a story that moves the heart, so that a human remains a human and does not get twisted into a killer some day.
ReplyDeleteRemember Artificial Intelligence? After waiting for a million years, David wakes up to receive one day's worth of mother's love. It is a redeeming story. But in our world, there are parents can be so hard hearted that live human children may wait for a million years in vain.We can keep asking why they bear children - are we just mistakes for which they desperately seek the delete button?