Wednesday, December 21, 2011

On Little Cat Feet

After reading all this information about narcissists and all – knowing I was raised by two of them, one more gave birth to me – all of my decisions have been shaped by this.  My whole life had been shaped by these people.  They still rattle around in my head.  I thought I was through.  I have just begun.  I feel like I see them everywhere right now – but I also look back and see that I have been punching at them all my life.  Anyone who tries to manipulate ME is suspect and I have hated – yes, HATED and cursed and tried to poison and rip and tear.  I don’t know if it is hyper sensitivity or if it is hyper awareness.  Can it be both?  I may just have sensitive feelers, little silica hairs, that tingle at the first sense of these people. But maybe these alarms are too sensitive – like a cat walking across a car at night.  It trips the alarm but the cat is not stealing or bruising the car.  The cat is an annoyance of fur and footprints, but is not the reason the alarm was set in the first place.  Does my metaphorical car attract these metaphorical cats? 

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