I've written (in my head) a million posts but honestly, it's too weird and sounds ridiculous.
Thing: I have felt followed and gang-stalked my whole life. Mike feels it in his life. It's like, the people in Walmart or wherever all converge on my aisle, or cars always converge on my lane (I feel like I've written about this before). Me eldest sister told me once (2 years ago-ish) that she was going back to her shrink because she was feeling people were following her around and she wanted to get medicated for being so weirdly paranoid. I asked her, 'what if it really IS happening?' and the look I got.
It's easier to believe you're insane than it is to discuss this stuff out loud.
Ever heard of MILABS? Military Abductions. It's a subject rife with weirdos (I say that totally knowing the Alanis Morrisett irony of it) swearing they were kidnapped by aliens and probed. But it's also a subject that includes actual MILITARY abductions. And mind control. For me? I didn't ever get abducted. But we were being watched. Still am.
My mother's brother turned out to be a huge deal in Florida http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/tbo/obituary.aspx?pid=163612933 and he was big in the military. (The one who died right when I started emailing him asking questions about my family. He was old, so not unexpected but still, quite a coinkydink. His sister, my lovely bat-crap crazy whore of a mother, was always desperate for money and attention. I know (through my sisters) that she took DES when she was pregnant with all of us http://www.cancer.org/cancer/cancercauses/othercarcinogens/medicaltreatments/des-exposure which is a horrific drug. All of y'all over 50 were probably exposed to it. MY QUESTION is what other sorts of things was she given as an experiment? Was she part of some weird secret clinical trial? http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Unethical_human_experimentation_in_the_United_States It's not unheard of. And she would have done anything for money and attention. Who knows what the long-term goal of those medical doctors was? What were they looking for, having given her (and us, in utero) some kind of experimental drug?
None of us were able to give birth normally. Eldest never could get pregnant. the rest of us all had C-sections, were unable to dilate or have contractions. ONE of my sisters ended up with TWO UTERUS (uteruses?) . FOUR OVARIES. Little bit on the 'circus freak' side of things there. And we have all long since had hysterectomies. The dose of estrogen given with that DES crap was off the charts. I'm still looking for exact numbers but there is quite a bit of info to wade through. I am now estrogen dominent, and fell SO much better since my body quit making it at all.
For the longest time I thought the weirdness came from my father's side of things. Now I'm pretty convinced it was mother. The military aspect of things...
I'm going to add up how many military people we are surrounded with, and the weirdest part of that is that my dad never spoke of his army time. Because he was a fucking paper pusher, not involved in like Normandy or whatever. But we were NOT raised to know anything about the military. Other than White Christmas, I had no clue what the army was. I didn't even know there was a Marine corps until I was in my 20's. And yet every one of us blood-related sisters ended up marrying into a military type of family. MINE is the most. lol natch.
Plus all the guys I dated who had ties to the military.
Not to mention the dozens (DOZENS) of men who would sidle up next to me in cars, in the park, while I was riding my bike, then my moped - this started when I was about 7 or 8 years old - and every damned one of them was jacking off. LOOKING AT ME, um - spanking the monkey. Happened so many fucking times I just started to shrug it off. But I'm guestimating 15 - 20 times until I got to be about 25 years old.
The guy who was riding his bike past our house, it was Thanksgiving and dark out already, and I had the job of taking the fancy tablecloth out front and shaking the crumbs out. He stopped and smiled at me and made me feel SEXY - I was 10 years old people, and I was always a filthy little rabbit due to the neglect. He asked me to go get my bicycle and join him. He was flirting with me, smiling, saying 'come on1 Come ride with me!' This was in 1970, 1971? Dark out, 25 year old man making that request to a scrawny 10 year old. And I was all shy and FLIRTING BACK and dug my toe in the ground and said 'I can't I'll get in trouble' like it happened EVERY DAY.
The weird shit, and also the near misses and the LUCK of my life is just so very strange.
The sex stuff - I started fantasizing about sex when I moved to California, so when I was 5, going on 6. And not kissing sex - this was full on, S&M, women being forced and humiliated and raped type stuff. Stuff a 5-year old wouldn't know about. Unless, of course, she had grown up with a bat-crap crazy drug addicted mother who was about to sell her youngest daughter's small self to the druggies and loonies she brought home for her own pleasure. I was starting to disassociate by the time I was taken to Calif. - only in later years did I realize what had been happening in my brain. I can still get that scary creepy feeling of staring up at a corner of a room and working hard to just *blip* dissapear, getting tinier and tinier all the time. YEAH, this shit happened, a lot of shit was GOING to happen.
Just recently, within the last few months, Jeff has said he has met several personalities of mine. Once I take my Ambien, I guess the doors open up and my alters walk on out. People - for Jeff to tell me this, to ADMIT IT HAPPENS, is so huge I cant really think about it. I'm shaking right now typing this. I had NO IDEA that there are other personalities in there. I'm always driving this train wreck, I don't ever recal any indications that this sort of thing was happening. But he says it's really FUCKING OBVIOUS and do you know how scary that is?
What in the hell? Was I being groomed to be some kind of money making sex performer? UGH and the echo still rings all these years later. Sometimes I think the gangstalking/following is to see long term effects of the training and drugs. Little did they know I would grow up, have a normal kid, eventually get married to a VERY normal man, rent a normal apartment, work, buy groceries, walk my dogs... Not a lot of drama in my life.
And if my eldest sister blurted out that SHE feels stalked and harassed all the time, this is the sister with the masters degree and has been in therapy of years and years (thanks dad) I mean, wtf?
It's just weird, really weird around me all the time.
OH! I was woken up the other night by someone knocking very loudly on my bedroom wall. Which, whut the fuck, no. It was three sharp knocks, the way that the maintenance guy would knock on your hotel room door if you called about a leaking toilet or whatever. Thing is, I knew it wasn't real as soon as I opened my eyes because my dogs were just snoozing away, and it was LOUD. Huh, someone was knocking trying to get in.
Just last night I dreamed I was in my actual bed, actual place I sleep, cell phone in my hand (?) and something *YANKED* me cell out of my hand by the charger cord. I FELT IT. Opened one eye and kind of laughed and rolled over, I wasn't actually holding the phone and I knew it was more attention seeking. It doesn't feel friendly, but I don't feel threatened.
So there is the medical/military experimentation aspect of this. And then the weird woo-woo precognizance manifesting and outcome manipulation I can do. Nope, can't bend spoons or win at blackjack, but the stuff I CAN (and have done) is weird enough.
Do any of you get followed around? Talk to ghosts? Feel threatened? SEE I'm wavering on this because it really, really makes me sound loopier than I already do.