Wednesday, January 9, 2013

For Q and Sis

Q and Sis - holy fuck. I've been thinking and thinking to try and come up with some pithy humorous remark, and unbelievably, I got nuthin.

1.      Your mom is dead. Good, bad, or indifferent, she's dead. There is that to wrap your minds around. There is grieving even if it is for a mother you never had.

2.      She died 3-months ago. You are three months behind on news that is pretty important to both of you. YOUR MOTHER. I am not implying 'mother' like the hallmark card version, just you know - YOUR version. It's still pretty important to know that a mother is dead, for grief OR celebration. That's a mind fuck right there.

3.      She kept it from you ON PURPOSE. She hated you both enough to WANT to fuck with your heads one last huge time. (My NP was indifferent - I have said that sometimes I feel lucky for that.)

4.      She cozied up to Q's ex - his (I guess, for lack of a better word?) NEMESIS, at least as far as your mom was concerned. She wanted to be on the same team as his worst enemy.  She plotted against him with this ex - like Judas AND Brutus (Comedy Team!) (sorry...) She knew the sore-est, most open wound he had, and poured acid in it. Like one of those psychopaths on Law & Order SVU - she did what she did and it made her happy to think of y’all suffering.

5.      The $100 was a final ha-ha fuck you. I know you know that already.  Also - there is probably a law that the executor (sorry...) has to distribute all funds left to anyone in a will within so many days of somethingorother.  <--legal jargon, just go with it.

6.      Q's ex was outside his house that one night making sure that he still lived there. Far cheaper to do your own recognizance.  Sis, I am betting that the ex or someone close to her was spying on your residence at the same time.  So when she sent the certified letters she was certain you would receive them.  Her work was done.

We talk and talk and talktalktalk out here about hateful parents.  But this PROOF – this concrete absolute proof of the hatred is proving impossible for me to deal with.  My brain cannot fathom this – and I guess that’s what makes us different from THEM. 

Certainly I could kill or hurt – for protection, for revenge, you bet.  But for PLEASURE – nope.  To say ‘it don’t compute’ is so trite, and yet the idea of that kind of hatred bounces off my head, doesn’t get in.

You guys – I’m just so sorry.  No fake internet hugs or kisses.  Hug each other, for fucks sakes.  I’m bewildered with this and have nothing else I can say.

EXCEPT:  (oh come ON, you thought I could be silent??)

I think you should write a book about it.  LISTEN TO ME.  I’m not remotely kidding.  This is as good as any Lifetime Movie I have ever seen.  You can’t put that money "inheritance" in the bank (it will rot your savings).  You can’t put it in your gas tank (ditto automobile).  But you could pool your newly found resources and use that money to pay for copies at Kinkos or Staples.  Pay for some paper.  Pay for the County Court fees to retrieve documents.  Plat maps, birth certificates, marriage certificates...  And start writing an outline.  You will need an outline for a book proposal to submit to publishers.  That will take some time to organize (BINDERS!  My favorite thing!) but it will take NOTHING else, because you both together have this story embedded in your brains.  You have photographs.  You have PROOF.  You don’t have to come up with characters, or dialog.  You have a writing group (THE ULBs, DUH) who would be happy to read chapters, to proofread when your brains get tired – we would all (I am speaking for everyone but so what) be happy to donate time to getting this book out.  I personally have a copy of “The Writers Market” I would like to send you.  It’s a 2009 edition, but it can’t be THAT far out of date.  It lists every single magazine and book editor.  Once you have your proposal done, you can start sending it out for interest.  If “Julie and Julia” can get a book deal, this can.  Let me know what address to send the book to - I am not using it and YOU ARE GOING TO.

THIS – this would be the final FUCK YOU to your mother.  And to the ex.  Even if you only make $10,000 on the thing (doubtful because this story is KILLER) (sorry…) it will be money she didn’t intend for you, money that the ex will not see.  And the story that your mother tried to bury (sorry…)

PLUS – the ending.  The certified letters with the $100 checks.  That is an ending Hollywood couldn’t write.  I am so passionate about this idea – I am behind both of you PUSHING YOU.

I also hope you’re both ok.

Casey

65 comments:

  1. PEA ESS I wrote that list I guess more for ME, because *ahem* you already know all of that. Sorry, I'm an asshole and I just made your mom dying all about ME. Surprise. *sigh*

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  2. You slay me Casey. It's just nice to know somebody gets it. Sis has been talking about how the barbarian go's so far over the top she loses sight of just how far over the top she really is.
    There is not that much that she couldn't explain away.
    Murder?
    Wrong place at the wrong time and she DID get found not guilty.
    Suicide?
    He had the last clear chance of saving himself but he didn't.
    But with all that and then the obvious snubbing of two people that never did a thing (until the past couple of years) but let her grind us into the ground with her boot.
    If the people around her don't get it now they never will.
    And thanks.
    I can't believe you devoted a post to this.
    Any one reading this should take it as a lesson of what could happen to you.
    They have no shame.
    No boundaries.
    They get so caught up in fucking people over they don't see that they spill over in a way that finally shows them for what they are.
    Lisa won't get the money unscathed. People will know her for the opportunistic bitch she really is. And that money will come at a price.
    Thanks again. You are a doll. I want to see what sis has to say so I will stop my rambling now.

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  3. Pes ess. When I first dating Lisa her parents knew who I was and who my mother was. They have lived in Dallas their whole life and remember when all of that shit hit the fan and seeing it in the local media.

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  4. I just can't stop. I luv yew man. You effing crack me up. It's your blog. Make it about any body you want. I KNEW she wasn't going to leave me or sis a fucking dime. I joked about her leaving it to my ex. But never in a million years did I think someone could be tacky enough to actually do it.
    It cracks me up seeing the player get played.
    That bitch of an ex hated her from day one.

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    1. I guess in a weird way we are cheering for the ex? I have a headache now.

      Hell, my blog is so boring this is the best thing EVAH. Thank yew, for having a dead mom! Yea Barbarian! YOU ROCK BEING DEAD!

      Maybe my dad and your mom NO STOP IT the devil is crying and packing his bags now. POOR SATAN.

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    2. Gladys. You and any body else feel free to mock my mother all you want. God knows there is enough of her irrational tackiness to go around.

      Delete
  5. Thanks, Gladys! I also think Q needs to write a book. At least we can have our brains back now without that constant nagging static of her in the background. She did all this because she couldn't control us. She wanted us to ditch our spouses for her and sit at her house and hold her hand till she died. This coming from a person who couldn't give us the time of day when we were kids.

    I think you left out the part where she signed this awesome will on MY BIRTHDAY.

    Q's Sis

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    1. fuck me. FUCK. On your birthday. jeebus. Let's dig her up.

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    2. And the final kicker is that she actually sent me a birthday card on that very birthday. She sent me a birthday card for the first time in five years, on the very day she signed that awful will. Who thinks like that? It just shows how she thought about us on a daily level. I think we're lucky she didn't kill us. I wonder how many times she thought about it though?

      Q's Sis

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    3. *clunk* <--I just passed out.

      that book is writing itself.

      I think you're right. She probably researched hiring someone to do the deed.

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    4. You guys are just cracking me up. I have always said I couldn't make this shit up if I tried. If I could make this up I would be knocking Stephen King off his throne.
      It's all she fucking did. She never worked. She sat around on the phone fucking other peoples lives up. She never even slowed down with her charges pending.
      I think she ramped it up to get it all in before she went to prison.
      Me and sis just watched like a tennis match. Just both our heads wagging all synchronized back and forth.
      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6W7Hyf33M94

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    5. True, she just watched soap operas, went to bars and picked up guys and tried to destroy our lives while we meanwhile were working to pay bills, going to college and getting degrees and raising families in a healthy way. My husband and I have 5 kids and 11 (soon to be 12) grandchildren between us. It's not like we just sat around wondering what my mother was doing. But I think she obsessed over us and decided to try to get rid of any signs of happiness with Q or myself. It didn't work for her though, since I found out she is dead I've been walking on air I'm so elated. And I guess this proves that demons aren't immortal??

      Q's Sis

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  6. I hate to divulge contents of private e-mails but I asked Sis if she thought my mother's signing her will on my sisters birthday was a coincidence. So she asked me back.
    What if she had signed it on your birthday?
    I didn't miss a beat. I said I would go dig her up, chop her head off and put it on a stick.

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    1. oh. oh my god. YOU GUYS. If I didn't know better, I would think you were making this shit up. Because this shit is just so SCRIPTED.

      Sis, I'm sorry. I'm sorry that your birthday is now a fucked up thing HAHAHAHA I JUST MADE MYSELF LAUGH cos, wasn't your birthday always a reminder of where you came from?? (literal, figuative, now picturing your mother's vuh jay jay I NEED MENTAL FLOSS)

      I'm devastated for both of you. It's a horrifying clown-car wreck. You want to laugh, but shit is REAL. It's just so awful.

      Q, please think about the book. I absolutely will volunteer (signed contract and everything, srsly) to research and help write it. It would hone my skillz, and I'm not employed so I have time. And research is my CRACK. (as in, 'crack pipe', not my actual crack) (now YOU need mental floss, you're welcome)

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    2. GOD DAMN IT I meant this as Q and SIS - I would help YOU BOTH I need a cold compress and a pound of brownies.

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    3. Thanks for your good wishes! I have to get to work now, but will write more later.

      Q's Sis

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    4. Gladys. You really ain't going to believe this. I had separated from the bitch and we had filed for divorce. But I thought we could meet and have lunch on our 12th anniversary. I couldn't find her so I went over to see if this friend of mine was going to be watching the Cowboys game.
      Too bad she was at his house in bed with him.
      HAHAHAHAHAHAH
      By this time it didn't even piss me off. I just laughed and got in my car and drove off. My mother knew about this too but still joined forces with her.

      Delete
  7. I will say this, all this over the top death drama she has pulled about the will and everything just shows that we did get to her. We tweaked a nerve of hers that no one else did. For that I'm proud that we caused her consternation or frustration that she couldn't control us. And she felt the only way to get even was try to screw over us after she was dead. You notice she didn't have the balls to tell us this stuff when she was alive. She could have written us letters three years ago that informed us we were not in her will, and if she was honest she could have added that she had never intended to put us in her will ever. I think all I wanted was some honesty with her, and all she ever did was try to play everyone. We need one of those Boy Scout badges for this, "I got on my mother's last nerve".

    Q's Sis

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    1. YES - absolutely. You two were ALL she could think about these last years, she OBSESSED over you two. That's a good point.

      I went looking for a merit badge but didn't find that one or I would have bought two of them RIGHT NOW.

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  8. Or how about, 'my mother died and all I got was this stupid t-shirt'.

    Q's Sis

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    Replies
    1. AHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHA
      You is a funny gal.

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  9. This post made me cry - just touched my heart the way only a ULB can. Yes yes yes write the book buy the ticket and take the ride to the final fuck you. I am there.

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  10. Do you really want to know how I feel? As fucked up a mother as she was, she was the only mother I ever had. It makes me sad that she felt like playing some game that only she knew the rules to, superseded the bonds between a mother and a child. A wife and her husband. A daughter and her mother.
    I would have liked to have had our life together end on a conciliatory note. But that's not what she was about.
    She was about hate and betrayal. She was about undoing and then laughing at the people she should have cared for.
    And no amount of money to her, or from her, was going to change that.
    I hope she gets to experience enough of the heart ache she generated on this earth to know what she put us all through.
    And then I hope she is allowed to find the peace she never found here.

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  11. Q your soul shines through in your every word. She may have tried but she did not succeed in destroying you.

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    1. Yes, this.

      No matter how hard she tried, she just couldn't break you. QSis is right; that's what this is all about. It's her Hail Mary Pass.

      What a failure.
      Love,
      Vanci

      Delete
  12. Ya'll carry on slagging her. I goddamn sure ain't done with it.

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  13. This book would end up in the fiction section 'cause no one would believe a woman could not only be THAT fucked up but find a co-conspirator who was just as fucked up as she was!

    Do we even know for sure that Barbara died of natural causes? In any case, I'm hoping she's buried in a double plot so, when the time comes, Lisa can join her and they can spent all of eternity side-by-side.

    When I allow myself to dwell on it, especially since I have a kid of my own, I'll never comprehend how a mother can turn her back on the most primal bond of all; the bond between a mother and the child she carried and gave birth to. Deep down, I still hope for one kind word from my mum before she dies but since both my parents have acid in their veins I'm sure they'll outlive me!

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    1. Mulder - that's when I starting knowing how fucked up my parents were. When I had Mike and realized just how far I would go to make him happy and secure. To give him a fun, great childhood.

      It completely boggles me. This story just makes me so fucking SAD.

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  14. Gladys, thanks for the breakdown of all of this (seriously). I think it speaks volumes to look at it all in print. I mean, we all knew the score, but it's hard to fathom when it's floating in your brain (as is most of this stuff with narcs). I think seeing it in print really is eye opening.

    Q and Sis, the thing that gets me is that, even though she was a shitter of a mother, she was still your mother. And no matter what, her death was going to be a moment of reflection and processing. Good or bad, I'm sure you've had tons of emotions swirling around. Maybe even grieving that last little bit of hope you held onto that she would wise up and love her kids. It's got to suck knowing that it will never, ever change.

    So, to add to all that grief with a final, huge "fuck you" just sucks (to put it very mildly).

    I agree with Gladys about the book. I'd help (just don't ask me to spell check)!

    I respect your resilience and strength through this all. And Q, for you to wish her peace after it all speaks volumes. I hope you and Sis get that peace too.

    Oh, and final thought, I don't think there is a DAMN thing you guys could have done that would have convinced her to leave you that money. Nothing. Because it wasn't about you guys or what you did or didn't do. It was because she liked being a bitch and watching people squirm. I know it seems like it was about you (because, geez, look at all the ways she tried to write your name on it: your ex-wife, your birthday) but it was never about you. She was just a miserable human being.

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    1. Yes, I think Q and I are the ones who have earned the peace since she put us through hell our whole life. I agree, there isn't a thing we could have done to change what she did. No one was ever able to change her about anything or talk any sense into her head about anything. She was the most headstrong willful person I've ever seen. And self destructive beyond belief.

      Q's Sis

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  15. I wouldn't do this to either of my step daughters and one of'ems boy friend keyed my truck.

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  16. Ya'know, life doesn't get any realer than death. She can lie and she can shuck and jive, but she's getting what she's getting. Be it turning to dust or burning in hell.
    She can't juke her way around what ever lays in wait.

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    1. My parents are terrified of dying. To give you some idea of how fucking stupid these two are, they've made prepaid arrangements, including me getting the old boy's body to the medical school, but they don't want to talk about it because it's too morbid, so I have no idea which funeral home they set things up with. So when they die, I guess I have to call around to find the right place. From experience with my brother and husband I know you only have 24 to get the body picked up or the hospital ships it to the city morgue as unclaimed.

      Come to think of it, if I'd live the kinda life they've lived I'd be scared shitless of dying too 'cause if it turns out there really IS an afterlife, they're fucked!!!

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    2. Yep, death just goes on and on like the Energizer bunny.

      Well Mulder, you have the option then of waiting out the 24 hours?

      Q's Sis

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    3. My niece pissed around a bit too long and my older brother's body was misplaced. The city where he died didn't have a morgue so he ended up on a refrigerated slab in another city. At my suggestion she had the cops track him down, then she still left him there because she didn't know what to do until I said, "Call a fucking funeral home!"

      He was killed on a Wednesday and didn't get to the funeral home until the following Monday because nobody really gave a shit about the SOB, not even his own kids. He was a chip off the old block times ten so in retrospect I don't think we should have bothered looking for him!

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    4. wow, mulderfan, I think that story tops ours.

      Q's Sis

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    5. Thanks Sis! That's the great thing about FOO like yours and mine, we don't even need an imagination because who the hell could make this shit up?

      Delete
  17. MF. There are two plots left. One to the left (right if you are looking up) and one to the foot of that. I have already told my wife I want to be cremated and I don't want to be buried down there. Which is moot because now those plots belong to my ex-wife.

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    1. Just ew! When I saw her in 2002, the last time I laid eyes on her she was trying to convince me to not be buried out here with my husband but instead be buried at that plot there. She said this in front of my husband and he was taken aback by it all, since we've ben married 30 years (20 then). He and I have always talked about being cremated and doing something creative with the ashes, but I'm sure as HELL not going to be buried down there with her next to me. Oh.Hell.No. Meanwhile, I was thinking part of the reason she didn't want us to know she was dead was that we had threatened to have her cremated, and she had a fear of that that cannot be put into words. She probably knew as next of kin we could have done something to get it done. Or in Texas speak, 'get er done'. LOL And now with her buried next to my beloved granny I don't feel like I can even go there to see my granny's grave. I don't want to be near the sociopath's grave.

      Q's Sis

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    2. Make the trip worthwhile! Visit your granny and use the opportunity to piss on Barbara's grave!

      Delete
  18. They truly DO die the way they lived. It'd be a phenomenal book. And just the dynamics alone: Think of how many OTHER ULB's out there you'd be helping? It's about time more stuff was written by the AC's of these POS "Parents"-starting with the O-BITCH-uary. And your obit, Q would make a grand Introduction to your book standing on it's own merits.
    Just think-you've already started on the manuscript!
    TW

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  19. TW
    There's so much stuff it would have to be a trilogy.
    Or at least a biology.

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  20. I agree with the boom idea wholeheartedly! But I'm a massive book person (I adore even the smell!)
    I read a book that called 'A childe called It' by Dave Pelzer (funnily enough, my mother gave hers to me as, I took it a 'you could have had it worse'). It's a very powerful story, but not so much as what I have read. Often, I've read Q's posts and been completely lost at how to comment. I haven't the depth? Experience? Whatever,. To be able to say the right thing I guess.
    So, I'm in if needed (Aussie proof reading? Hmmm, but the offer is there!).
    In terms of the hate though. I don't know. The memory that sprang into my mind when I read that was a 'best friend' in high school who had cut me out when I got a boyfriend. I thought for ages about what I'd done, but I couldn't think of it so I called her. Her mother answered and after I said who I was she asked if I was still with my boyfriend, I said no, and was put through to my 'friend'. I asked what I'd done. I cried a lot. I asked for forgiveness. Nothing. I said 'I don't know why you hate me so much'. She replied: 'I don't hate you. Hating you would mean I think anything or care for you at all, and I don't. You're just nothing to me'.
    I guess that's what hate is. Caring enough to want someone to hurt, without actually dealing with the issue? (She does care. She hides when she sees me. Not that I have any interest to speak to her anyhow. But she also spent years bad mouthing me). It's not meant to make you feel better I suppose. I guess, it's more to acknowledge that hate involved an element of love. Just from a really damaged and fucked up person. We have to be grateful that we aren't that way don't we?

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  21. God damn this phone! Book idea!

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  22. Door mat. I don't know about you not having depth. I guess sis sort of headed to your way of thinking by saying we got HER because she hated us enough to want to wound us.
    But you sort of rounded third and brought the thought home.
    Do you have baseball down under? That will make no sense if not .
    You completed her thought.

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    1. That was my thinking when the NGC popped in for a visit. If I'm such a useless piece of shit why was he so hung up on what I had to say? Made me realize I'M living rent free in HIS head and even though he seems to have disappeared, I know it's eating his guts out not knowing what I'm writing these days.

      If Barbara went to such great lengths to "get" you, even after she was dead, you obviously "got" her first.

      Delete
    2. Yep, that's what I thought. It's funny, when she blew me off in 2004 I didn't even think about her after a few weeks of wondering what was the deal. I actually forgot she existed, and when people asked me if my mother was alive I'd have to stop and think about it. In other words, I let go. I don't think she ever did.

      Doormat, I think your friend thought you chose your boyfriend over her, so she wanted to get even with you. That's one deal with our mother, she wanted us to choose her over our spouses and tried to break up our marriages. But we chose our spouses, and that was the last straw for her. A sane parent wants their children to have happy lives and marriages.

      Q's Sis

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    3. Not much baseball, we have cricket - it's similar in ways....there's a bat and a ball at least. Sport is lost on me, short attention span...and I talk too much (my partner just LOVES that!)

      Yeah Q's sis, I thought that too. It was very petty, but when she said that I immediately knew I couldn't make it better. Funnily enough, her name was Lisa too.

      Delete
  23. Damn it, I'm so far behind on all my reading. Fucking great post Gladys.

    Q and Sis could turn this shit into a transcript and send it to Hollywood. Immortalize the monsters forever, so they are doomed to suffer all eternity with a bad rep. They'd hate that shit.

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  24. I was thinking that with this "$100" thing she was trying to say we had no more value to her than $100, LOL.
    That's why she never wanted to admit we did anything good with our lives, she always wanted to demean
    us and make it look like we had no value. People don't have that right to say someone is worthy or has value
    or whatever you call it. We have value because we are human beings, and we contribute to this planet,
    how we live our lives says a lot about our "worth", not what someone else thinks in their delusions. This should be a lesson to all ACON's, absolutely do not let the N's tell you what they think you are worth and then believe them.

    Q's Sis

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    1. I also think that the $100 was to ensure that you found out she was dead, after the fact. Because legally the executor of the will has to send you notification of the death. But has to file the death certificate, etc. first before being named executor. So she wanted you to KNOW, but not until it was all said and done, and her funeral/body disposal was done.

      It was all so much more important to HER than it was to you guys.

      No wonder you felt her looking over your shoulder all the time - she truly was obsessed with y'all.

      Delete
    2. I feel like we just lived through the real version of that movie Clash of the Titans. It's very wearying. If it wasn't for that lawyer letter/check we still wouldn't know she was dead. I wish I'd known 3 months ago, I could have been celebrating for 3 more months.

      Q's Sis

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  25. I could write our story or one about Spiders from Mars. I think the Spider one would be more believable.

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    1. But the fact that your story IS true is what would make it a best seller. Not even the money part of it - it would have ACoNs everywhere cheering because finally a truth was told. A TRUTH. There are so many of the same stories.

      The only other book about a narcissistic psychopathic mother that I know of is 'Mommy Dearest'. That book was a HUGE 'fuck you' from Christina to Joan. Joan about lost her MIND when it came out.

      What was left of it, anyway.

      Delete
  26. It kills me how I went into great detail about what a two faced reprehensible morally bankrupt cum guzzling lying cheating thieving two faced slut my ex was and all it did was give my mother the bright idea of how to fuck us over.
    My ex used to work at the local sperm bank.
    She was the night depository.
    But they fired her for drinking on the job.

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    1. Reminds me my brother in law's wife. She was ten years older than my husband and his sister and they would stay at her and their brother's house for weekends. She used to take them to the ice cream store and ask them what flavors they liked. Then she'd ask them what flavor they hated. They hated pistachio. So she bought a gallon of that to take home.

      Q's Sis

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  27. I'm sure she thought she was really going to get our attention. But this is just more of what she has been doing all of our life. I would have been freaked out if she had taken the high road. I would be looking over my shoulder for the rest of my life waiting for some hit man to blast me to kingdom come.

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    1. Ha Q - no shit. If she had broken stride at the last minute I would've expected the same thing. Sniper fire from somewhere.

      Delete
  28. If you or sis had any deep, lingering doubts about her or the prospect of The Barbarian some how entering the realm of semi-normalacy/decency, those are now erased in spectacular fashion. As well as any contemplation of your ex in terms of who and what she's about.
    They DO NOT CHANGE. EVER. Acceptance is a rough road to travel. IMO, we've all been on that "Hopeful" train until it crashes into the gorge of reality. Again.
    TW

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    1. Yep, you are right on about it all. They do not change ever because they do not care. The inability to see they do not care is what keeps people feeling hopeful, that maybe just once they felt like you do or like normal people do. I remember you called it months ago. You said if you think they're playing games now, just wait till they die, they come up with a brand new bag of tricks.

      Q's Sis

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  29. this whole thing falls under the saying, "there will be hell to pay". I'm so glad I'm a spiritual person and not an atheist at this time. The thought of her being in hell being interrogated is just priceless.

    Q's Sis

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    1. I've always like the idea of having to justify your life - you have to see it all again, and explain your actions. You HAVE to make sense.

      She can't. I would say she was a waste, but lookit how good her kids turned out!

      Delete
  30. That's sweet, thank you! I agree that there must be a life review after death and she's got some 'splaining to do. There was a good movie about that with Al Brooks, Defending Your Life. When he got his review it just showed him being a coward in almost every scene.

    Q's Sis

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  31. If she gets to feel a tenth of the misery she dealt on earth she will wilt like a hot house orchid.

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    1. I realized today that I really have been happy my whole life in spite of her. The things she did, she did to make people unhappy but basically she failed miserably with this. I know our granny was a happy person. I think you have always been a happy person. I've always enjoyed my life and am continuing that. So basically what I'm saying to her is... FAIL, you failed in your most basic goal in life.

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