Jeff's parents are both in the VA hospital. They are busy NOT DYING, fyi
Both of them have tested positive for MRSA. Which means Msomething Resistant Strain of Ainfection that cannot be cured by any known antibiotic. Maybe I don't have that exactly right but you get the fucking DRIFT. Do not go look up images of MRSA if you ever want to sleep again.
His dad also has 3 kinds of cancer. Yeah, we tell him he's a goddamned over-achiever all the time - taking chemo drugs, so he is immune compromised in a big way. ALSO? His dad contracted cellulitis (deep tissue skin infection!) and that turned into gigantic boils on his neck, which led to a blood infection! He ALSO has Grovers Disease which is a skin rash that is not curable. Like a cold, they can use palliative measures (it puts the lotion on or it gets the hose) but they can't make it go away.
His MOM, otoh, has the MRSA, with an added soupçon of thyroid problems (the problem is she wasn't taking her fucking meds), extremely low blood pressure (down from extremely high! wheee! roller coaster!) AND A SKIN RASH OF UNKNOWN ORIGIN. SHE is in a negative-pressure room in the DOU. What that means is she has her own room because they have no idea what this rash is and the DOU is Direct Observation Unit. They have ruled out scabies (oh jeebus hold me) and an allergic reaction and now it's an episode of House or Monsters Inside Me up in that ward.
Jeff's brother, the Intrepid Keith (who is 56 years old and still lives at home, but la la I don't care because he) is the caregiver of these two, and has tried to get tested for MRSA but because he has no fever (and no health insurance *ahem*) they wont test him so he could be a disease-bag-carrier, but who knows?
The two parents have had infections of one kind or another (including the MRSA) for over a year.
Do you itch yet? Are you fucking creeped out yet? Because here is the icing on that infectious disease cake:
-->WE ARE HAVING THANKSGIVING DINNER AT THEIR HOUSE <--
- We decided long ago to just order pre-cooked dinners from the grocery store because none of us wanted to cook that day anyway, and:
- I am working on getting a housecleaning service in there to disinfect the whole place (gasoline and match, anyone?) and:
- I don't know what 3 is.
- OH the nurses and doctors aren't really concerned, they say you can 'acquire' MRSA from the grocery store and that everyone is probably a carrier, so it's not that big of a deal. EXCEPT they gown up and glove up whenever they are near these two.
- I am advocating a Skype Thanksgiving but everyone feels like this may be the last one (insert inappropriate joke on my behalf) and seem to feel that simply disinfecting the place will be enough. I am not pleased.
They are on different floors in the hospital, and they both seem to be really enjoying the whole thing but in different ways. Jeff's dad LOVES the attention from all the nurses and doctors (because several docs have looked at him because *see above list of disgusting ailments*) and his mom is kind of a Blanch Dubois type.
Keith is loving it because he gets the house to himself for a week, with no medication schedules, no falling old people, and no talk of disgusting sores.
None of the 3 of them were concerned about these infections until old Gladys The Logical stormed in. I have LONG taken a back-seat on his parent's health issues because I hate my own parents and have no idea how to effectively deal with anyone else's, and it's (really, sincerely) none of my business. But this is ridiculous and I was the one who insisted that mom go to the hospital, and I AM THE ONE who takes notes and talks to the doctors and nurses. And so I am now the one in charge of this mess and if you missed the Alanis Morrissette Irony of the whole I HATE MY PARENTS thing then go re-read that paragraph.
I have washed their sheets in hot water and bleach but like I said, we are going to get a housecleaning service in there this week before they get home. I need a Shark Steam Cleaner thingy. FOR MY SKIN.
So anywhozle, I'm a little busy is all. I've been reading y'all but no time for comments I have to go take another hot shower with bleach and put on my sexy new outfit.