Thursday, October 2, 2014

A fishy tale

(1 month 1 day no drinky)

Perfect example.

I was just back from a 2 mile walk today, hot and sweaty and about to get down to listing more stuff on my Ebay page.  Doorbell rings.

There's a young guy standing there in nice pants and a button up shirt and a tie, offering carpet cleaning for free to show off an amazing new way to clean carpets.  I know a sales pitch when I see one, but I am ALWAYS up for getting my carpets clean.  They weren't new when we moved in here 2 years ago, and I have one elderly dog who thinks of the 'go pee outside' rule as more of a suggestion these days - my carpets always smell of either 1. dog pee, or, after I clean it up, 2. Lysol and vinegar.  Neither one is really very pleasant, as you can imagine.  Not so soothing, like jasmine or magnolia...

I DO however know nothing is free - and the kid leaves to go get his equipment (and change his clothes, I'm thinking) and I tuck $20 into my pocket because Imma tip this kid even if he doesn't charge me, which I'm also thinking he is going to do.  I need clean carpet tho, and I'm ready.  I push around my living room furniture and doorbell rings again.

THIS TIME it's 2 of them, and they are carrying a bunch of boxes that say KIRBY VACUUM. (Hello, I've been KIRBY'D for fucks sakes- is this a joke?  no - no it is not).  The second guy is maybe 10 years older than the first one.  Immediately, I say out loud, exclamations in my voice, 'TELL ME you aren't selling me Kirby vacuums!  My DAD used to sell Kirby's back in the day!"

[this part is very true.  We had a vacuum, not the one we used every day, but a relic from his sales days and it looked an awful lot like this:
it was HEAVY and I never used it - he sold vacuums in the 50's before I was born - one of MANY traveling sales jobs he took including LIFE INSURANCE because the phrase 'does not play well with others' could've been coined for my dad, he could not work in an office with other people.  He called women 'GALS' for chrissakes]

So second guy leaves.  First kid - his name is Jessie, he's 19.  My father had a sister named Jesse.  (different spelling).  This kid looks exactly like Mike's best friend from the Corps - Matt used to come over to our house and spend weekends when they were both stationed at Pendleton.  When they got back from Afghanistan, his whole family came to a barbecue that we put on.  So this kid Jessie, he looks like a Marine - has the haircut, no shit.  they call it a 'high and tight' - short on the sides, a bit spikier on top.  During the demo (he's vacuuming my house, it's fabulous) he tells me he tried to join the Corps, wanted to VERY BADLY but was turned down for respiratory issues.  Mike was released (medically discharged) from the Corps for asthma, respiratory issues.

So, let's review.

1.  Kirby sales.  My dad sold Kirby's.  Have you EVER had a vacuum salesman knock on your door?  It's unusual, to say the least.  First time in my life and I was raised in the 60's and 70's.
2.  Jessie - my dad's sister who he was close to was named 'Jesse'.  Only family member he talked about, actually.
3.  Kid looks exactly like Mike's best friend in the Corps - it is so much alike they could be twins.
4.  Kid wanted to be in the Corps, in fact at first I assumed he was possibly weekend warrior, but:
5.  Denied due to respiratory issues, same reason Mike was (honorably medically) discharged.

Let's not forget I live in a gated APARTMENT complex, so 1. they shouldn't have gotten in and 2. I rent, I don't give a fuck about whether my carpets last a year or 6 months, they AREN'T MINE.  Go sell to homeowners, maybe?

I cut the demo VERY short, pissed them both off but good, and had them leave.  I wasn't going to spend $2,000 on a vacuum anyway, and the whole thing was weirding me out.

You go ahead.  Tell me it's all coincidences.  That it doesn't mean squat.  I happen to not believe in coincidences.  Not at the rate that they happen to ME.  This is exactly the type of thing that happens to me almost DAILY.  I hesitate to tell these stories because I know I sound like a paranoid freak - like someone who hears voices or sees ghosts.Visions.  (Not ghosts - Mulder senses ghosts, I've sensed them - so VISIONS)

But when you live with this shit every. fucking. day, it has a way of beating you down.  Do I believe my dad sent those guys?  lol - no.  But, here's a theory for you:

what if evil does exist?  What if it runs on its own wave length.  It uses people - some who are prone to welcome real evil in (like narcs), and some who are just carriers but who aren't affected by it - like sharks and the remoras that hang around them.

People who are used like puppets by evil - used in order to create havoc and drama so that these entities that feed on negative emotions have food.  Flying monkeys, anyone?  I encounter BOTH kinds of evil a lot.  Homeless people have remoras very often.  They're so emotionally screwed up from their lives they don't even know they play host to these evil things.  SOME homeless people ARE evil, they are hunters/predators.  I'm only using homeless people as an example because I see both kinds very often.  I imagine priests are another example of both kinds.  Get my drift?  Some people have swallowed and become evil, some people just drag it around like pig-pen and that cloud of filth around him.  Evil chooses these puppets because they are easily manipulated into creating drama and distress, even if they don't make good host bodies.

I'm not afraid of this shit that happened today.  I sincerely believe those kids were just hustling a buck.  I've hustled MANY a side-job in my life, hello Ebay is only the most recent.  [And if you ask me, those Kirby vacuums are totally awesome - if you're looking to spend $2,000 (it vacuums AND steam cleans!)]  What I am is sort of discombobulated.  Think how you would feel if someone *yoinked* you upside down!  fast!  then spun you right side up!  BAM!  You're safe - you're fine.  But spinny and disoriented.  That's how I feel right now.  That's how I feel every single time this shit happens.  So like twice a week, I guess.  It's a creepy feeling.  Jeff did not used to believe me.  HE LIVES IT NOW.  I attract weird shit.  YOU tell me why, go ahead because I can't really figure it out.

All I wanted was clean carpet, and I got remoras.

(Yes yes, I know, no strangers in the house Mike yelled at me already)


  1. I've got a coincidence for ya. If your dad tried to sell my mom a vacuum cleaner you might be my sister.

    1. I almost dropped a whole plate of nachos reading that. lol That's an even bigger coincidence because I've been promising to try to cut down and I've been closet eating.

  2. ***REVISION*** Jeff thought it was stupid, actually. I told him over the phone when it just was done happening, and then I met him at Lazy Dog for happy hour (Thursday football, jayzhus) and when I started talking about the coincidences he laughed out loud.

    I mean, honestly - hearing even MYSELF say out loud "his name was the same name as my dad's sister!!" it just sounds so ridiculous. Like when you tell someone about a dream. "I walked outside and there was a FROG!!"

    Unless you are in the moment, feeling the weirdness and actually sensing the roiling vibes coming at you, a person CANNOT understand why there is such urgency and drama about one of these stories.

    Jeff HAS lived it. He HATES IT. he hates admitting it, he hates that he even notices it. He is a skeptic - even after the Civil War battlefield, even after streetlights popping out - because he doesn't want this stuff to be true. It's just too woo-woo for him. So no, he doesn't believe me about the Kirby thing and my dad.

    *shrug*. I was there.


  4. Why'd you have to remind me about the streetlight thing again! Creeps the hell outta me because the one just down from my house goes out every time I step out on my porch. I come back in and look out the window...bam! It's back on.
    There are no coincidences.