Friday, March 29, 2013

Living in Limbo

 ♫There's a limbo moon above
You will fall in limbo love♪
 How low can you go?
We're here, in San Diego.  Living in a "hotel" <--notice use of ironic quote marks.  this place seems to be a white-trash transient motel, but HEY!  In San Diego, amiright?

Living in limbo, our apartment isn't ready yet.  Marking time with patience I DO NOT HAVE.  There is nothing to do but get outside, so I am walking miles and miles by the bay every day, which, you know - great!  But I need a home base soon or imma cut a bitch. 
The drive across the states was actually FUN.  I had (have) begun taking Wellbutrin, an anti depressant of the SSRI family.  Which is a re-uptake inhibitor, which well - here.  I'll make a story picture.
Imagine your brain goes to the dopamine/serotonin bank there in your body, to withdraw some feel good chemicals.  The bank teller (your spitter-outers of the chemicals, very technical term) she pushes the 'money' toward your brain, and then just when your brain is gonna glom onto those chemicals?  She yanks 'em back.  that is re-uptake right there.  If you make any of those good chemicals, your brain can't get to 'em. (wish I had made that up, but I read it on the webz and man, stuff like that makes sense to me.)
So SSRIs are re-uptake inhibitors.  So now my brain can pick up what I'm putting down.  WHICH, is pretty minimal, I don't manufacture those chemicals anymore (see this entry for why).  But MAN, I felt so much better on the trip than I have in a decade.  Like, someone had cleaned the Vaseline off of my windshield and I could finally SEE.  So, that was good.  More on the drugs later, remind me.  The unwilling exercise I am getting is what is really doing me good.  I'm actually manufacturing those chemicals now, and my brain can use them now.  I think I've lost a few pounds.  Was I complaining?  I'LL STOP NOW jeebus, it's all good.
The first 5 days are a blur of driving driving driving, truck stop coffee (YUM srsly), rest stops and listening to a CD-book about Krakatoa which is incredibly interesting.  Also Mark Knopfler on the Pandora radio station and also Reckless Kelly and it was just fun.
We stayed in Flagstaff, and decided to hang out there for an afternoon
It's a great little college town, full of energy.  we loved it.  The next morning we went to an observatory and walked in the forest, it was beautiful and we loved it.  We got lost, because we are not outdoorsy people and it was SAD that we got lost, good god we were going in a straight line
 Then we drove to Sedona, which is so beautiful you MUST SEE IT.  the town is a little over-the-top in the woo-woo department, but it is in the direction that my spirituality grows, so I liked it.  With a few grains of salt.  My pictures do not do the place justice 

Anywhoozle, we eventually made it to San Dog and there was much rejoicing.  Jeff started his new job and loves it, they love him, all is well.

Except for the whole living out of a suitcase thing, the whole I don't have more than 3 changes of clothing thing, the whole I want my house/stuff/wahhh imma big old baby thing.

I'm good, I'm happy.  I look tan thanks to Jergen's self tanning lotion.  I'm on a good medication and I'm exercising.  I've seen my kid more in the last week (and again today!) than in the last year. 
Balboa Park, SD

All is well.  Which is so fucking odd, right?


  1. Congratulations on feeling better! I'm glad you found that exercise makes everything go better. Now you're eating better and exercising and repeating the benefits.

    I hope your apartment is ready soon--how tiresome to be cooped up in a hotel.

  2. Sounds great! We go to SD once in a while, it's fun. Just went to Sedona in October, (photos on FB similar to yours, lol). Very woo woo there now. Took a great jeep tour out to the cliff dwellings at Sedona. All good stuff! : )

    Q's Sis

  3. No, "limbo" occurred the moment you stepped in that vehicle and pulled outta your driveway. You are now officially in hell. Worse yet, you're still paying-for every last thing, including water.
    Welcome. To my world. I call it "The Typically Transient's Totally Fucked Up Move, Part xxxx....and x." ;)

  4. BTW, the first time I heard about bedbugs I thought, "Holy crap, it's no easier getting rid of THEM than an's not legal to kill 'em either."

    (Maybe I shouldn't a said that, huh?)

    1. TW - bedbugs. Red Roof Inn. NEVER AGAIN. I am a cheap, tight-fisted bitch, but never, ever, will I stay at a $40/night motel. UH MAH GAH. *shudder*

  5. They say that's how it go's
    first your money then your clothe's
    don't ask me to explain that
    I charge extra for dumb looks

  6. Gladys this will help sort you out.

  7. Gladys where did you get that line about your brain picking up on what you're putting down? it's a line from a neil young song called Welfare mothers. Is that where you got?