Tuesday, June 18, 2013

Passive Agressive attacks - the hallmark of a narcissist


There has been this thing with Q and his comment over on this blog

She wrote about poop, and then Q commented something about 'crap' - you can read the whole thing on his blog here

Firstly, how can you not get the connection between what she wrote about (poop) and his comment (crap)?  Even taking into account that inflection and tone is lost sometimes in the written word, that comment was sarcastic and funny.

two-ly (?), Q said he apologized and clarified to her with no response.  Weird.

thirdly - I tried to 'splain it to her, twice.  I was even being all REASONABLE and GROWN UP and shit.  But my comments are moldering in her in-box.  See below:

1st comment:
Your comment is awaiting moderation.

I think, knowing Q, that he was being funny with thge crap/poop thing. Like sorta Alanis Ironical.
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2nd Comment:

Your comment is awaiting moderation.

I tried to tell you he was being sarcastic, but my comment appears to still be in moderation. He really was joking. Evidently he has tried to tell you he was joking, a coupla different ways (here and twitter?). I’m not understanding why you are continuing with your assumption that he was trolling you?
Your blog, I know I know, but why the insistence on being offended or whatever when he has offered a mea culpa… ?
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So here's my question/thoughts.  Say someone says something to you and it hurts/offends you.  Then that person says "oh jeebus, sorry, I didn't mean it like that it came out wrong, here's what I meant, sorry" - sure, perhaps the sting is still there, but why not acknowledge the misunderstanding as just that, and move on?

In this case, the blogger is getting lots of hits (mine among them because I kept looking to see if she had published or responded to my comments) and perhaps that is her point, her prerogative and fine and dandy.  But she's a psychologist/therapist...

This insistence on being offended - Q is having problems with Lisa/John over this same thing.  Professional victim-hood? 


There is a level of self-honesty that I see in ACoNs.  We KNOW we are broken, and we take that into account (probably too much so) in all interactions with people. Some people are self-aware, and able to see both sides of an encounter.  We all know what it is like to be attacked, but do all of us remember what it was like to be the attacker in an erroneous situation?  ALL of us have used a nuclear bomb when a bullet might have done the trick.  We have ALL been SO OFFENDED by something that was innocuous and not meant. 

We have all also been the target of passive-aggressive attacks that can be hidden behind the exact same excuses.  So I'm guessing some people have not yet gotten beyond the hurt of those passive-aggressive darts.  Haven't gotten to the self-aware portion of the program.

The fact that the person in question is a FAMILY THERAPIST sends chills up my spine.

37 comments:

  1. Gladys I love you for doing this and I hope you don't get dragged into trollville because these guys NEVER show their faces like we do. They find the nearest set of apron strings and stand behind them and stick their tongues out at us until they turn blue. It makes me want to slap them so maybe their face will stick like that

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Har - I chose the holocaust joke on porpoise just to see if I got anyone offended by it.

      If I was less mature I would say that Lyssa's face in her profile pic looks as if it is stuck like that. But I wont say that because I'm better than that.

      Delete
  2. Family therapist ?!?! Run for your lives!

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  3. Have you heard of Christopher titus? One of his comic friends was born with cerebral palsy and in his act he is merciless. Not merciless but what passes for no mercy. In between the lines you can read a genuine affection for the other guy and sensitivity that was hard to pick up and I was at the very front of the club.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oqiGWd0-0Os

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  4. Now I am sure that was Lisa. She kept the same time table last time her wheels came off. Started in about 5 in the AM Texas time and went until about noon and she has gone silent now.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=erMO3m0oLvs

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  5. And according to the "About Me" section of her blog,her "therapy work mostly involves working with survivors of domestic and sexual abuse"! That is truly scary. Friggin coward.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Do we know for sure this babe is a "family therapist"? I mean I sometimes talk my kid through boyfriend problems, so does that make me a "family therapist"?

    Anybody can claim to be pretty much anything on the these blogs. If she is truly some kind of therapist, you'd think a genuine sense of humour and a thick skin would come in handy! If a harmless little joke is all it takes for her to go ape shit (oops, forgive me for using the "s" word) then SHE'S the one that needs therapy!

    ReplyDelete
  7. I think she is a member of the Nazi party that escaped detection after WWII ended and one day we'll see her on the evening news as the Israeli Police drag her off to Nuremberg to stand trial for war crimes.

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  8. I'll admit, I just checked her out and found that most of her commenters do EXACTLY what Q did and make a play on the word crap. Can't fathom why she'd decide to take offense with Q's comment and not the others. Go figure!

    But again, the poor woman calls her Tortoiseshell cat a "tri-colour"...puleeese! This is an insult to "Torties" world-wide and I should know because I own two of the little darlings.

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  9. She can sense I am a misogynist.

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  10. I've got 12 hours to lisageddon

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I wonder if she is plugged in somewhere, re-charging a la C3PO? Venom meter was pegged, must refuel.

      Delete
    2. Q, I've already supplied you with the necessary material!

      Delete
    3. Jesus Christ, sure who? I know that blog post was taken down but it still stings reading these comments. I sent u guys an email. I wrote Doug a few emails and I was annoyed with him and I snapped at him and we went back and forth a few times and now he is really making me pay for my mistakes. (I will never get involved with another online community again. lol. u can say that again). Sure how? I am still a little sad that no one stood up for me (guys?) or had a shadow of a doubt or even said hey maybe lisa is not crazy (not like i care if u guys call me "bipolar" but i do tho) but whatevs. I never sent him any spam or trolled him via comments. I never left a mean comment on his blog or at least not to this extent mentioned here. And I wasn't even there for these comments and this post and what went down on the blog, so I don't even know what ur talking about.
      :'(

      Lisa

      ("lisageddon" omg. lol and :( )

      Delete
  11. What do you mean MF? that tortoise porn?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Your fans will crap themselves when they see it!

      Delete
  12. Ya think you just like seeing me in deep doo doo

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You've survived deeper doo doo. I'm confident you can handle this little turd.

      Gotta feeling the three of us could carry on this shitty conversation forever!

      Delete
    2. Yeah but it would end up being the same old shit day in and day out..........wait comments like that are what started this shit storm

      Delete
  13. I wrote a comment on that blog to, saying I thought the comment was a pun on the post topic of poo. It's not shown up either.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I wonder how many of her regulars said the same thing and she decided a troll would suit her blog better than logic and proportion so she just wiped their comments from existence. I don't feel so bad about the hatchet job I did on her now.

      Delete
    2. I slid over and took a look. Almost all of the comments say the same type of thing you did, some of them men too! I was tempted to write a post asking why it was OK for them but not you but figured she'd never respond given the experience Vi and Gladys have had.

      As for your comment below, the public face/private face thing is classic narc.

      Delete
  14. Oh for chrissakes Vi, no kidding?? She's a weird piece of work, that one. maybe she's embarassed, like i said to Q. I HOPE that's her excuse.

    ReplyDelete
  15. She wouldn't be the first person I've known that is all smiles and sunshine when people are looking and an iron fist behind closed doors.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Mulder - yeah, I think at this point any support for Q is going to be weeded out. She can't back out now without doing a BIG apology and nobody wants to do THAT.

    Whatevs. *shrug* we're partying over here. Pass me one of your kitties to snuggle.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. My kitties are all aloof little shits. You'll have to be satisfied with snuggling Q.

      Delete
    2. One at a time girls one at a time.

      Delete
    3. Your choice Q - big spoon or little spoon?

      Delete
    4. I'm cacklng like a loon here at the carwarsh

      Delete
  17. Oh my, oh my. I’ve never been fond of trolls. Remember that one time I got that mean comment? I totally cried. Then I wrote a snarky response and emailed it to you because I’m afraid of confrontation?****
    From words for words on psycho babble's comments thread. She totally cried?? Sha right Any group that uses adorbs in lieu of the word adorable and deets for details.....tells me more than I need to know about these douches.

    ReplyDelete
  18. OH for gods sakes. I have no patience with that whole "you hurt my feewings" thing.

    My question about this whole episode is WHY? Why take offense when none was meant? But I've been asking WHY about so many things all of my life, and have to remember that the WHY doesn't matter.

    FACTS are what matter. Character is shown through action.

    ReplyDelete
  19. I have no patience with that crap either. I know stuff gets "missed" in this medium, but c'mon: If you're not sure, ASK! If your Blog is for your friends only to keep up with the most intimate details of your life right down to the state of your shit, make it Private.
    Yeesch. It's just not that complicated. ULBs are a buncha get down honest people and if ya don't wanna play with the big 'uns, go back to your sandbox.
    I can no longer in good conscience advise anyone to go for "Counseling." Frankly, I wouldn't be advertising myself as a Professional on line: If one of us found it without even trying, no doubt a "Client/Patient" could as well. Can't help but wonder what Licensing entity would allow this to fly in terms of their Code of Conduct/Ethics.
    Cuz sweet-stuff, "that don't look good at all."
    TW

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  20. It just go's to show that trying to make amends is a lost cause when it comes to assholes. At least I flushed out a couple of cool anonymous people on my blog.

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  21. “He who takes offense when no offense is intended is a fool, and he who takes offense when offense is intended is a greater fool.” ― Brigham Young

    and then there's another quote about taking offense when none was intended is an offense itself.

    Q's Sis

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  22. I think she likes the attention. She thinks she's made it as a blogger by attracting a troll. Problem is, she ain't got a troll, so then what does that make her?

    ReplyDelete