Friday, September 27, 2013

Cranky Old People

There was an older guy in line in front of me at the post office.  He was about 70 - and he was one of those cranky, *SIGH*ing, huffing assholes that need to vent about something, anything.  "look at this.  There is only one clerk, this big line - and we pay their salaries" <--I almost choked that old man to death right there.  The other clerk was in the back sorting the packages that someone had just mailed - he was performing the last of the previous transaction and was GETTING BACK TO THE LINE.

Here these people are, working at a thankless job, wearing NAMETAGS for crissakes - (yeah yeah, they work for the government but everything I've seen about post offices tells me I wouldn't ever want to work there) but this could have happened in line at Target or wherever too - these cranky fucking old men (women too) who need to SIGH and HUFF until someone gives them eye contact and they can bitch to an audience.

To live your life in a bad mood - what a nasty way to live.  When he started in I said "THEY are the ones working right now.  I'm fine, I'm on THIS side of the counter" and he turned back away from me with a startled look.  I mean jeebus, asshole - you're in an air conditioned room, spending 5 freaking minutes NOT WALKING with your cane and you're bitching.  And go home and SHOWER you old fucker - the dandruff in your ear hairs sticking to your disgusting hearing aids is grossing everyone out.  Trim your ear hairs too.

There was another time, I was in line at Walmart, and this same (type of) guy was behind me.  There was a cute teenager girl in front of us with her mom, and she had a cell phone in the back pocket of her jeans.  The old asshole pointed and said something about "they each have one of those it's ridiculous looks stupid in that pocket they probably sit on them" and me, being me of course I looked at this old fucker and said

"remember back in the day when kids had cigarette packages rolled up in their sleeves?  yeah, it's a teenage fashion statement, just like that" and he was taken aback - hadn't thought of HIS OWN GENERATION doing the exact same fucking thing.

Then I said "these kids don't sit on their phones.  They're too expensive and too precious to them - they know where those phones are at every second."

I hate assholes.  I mean, no looking at teenagers and smiling because you remember what it was like to be 14, no having pity on a worker-bee somewhere because you remember what it was like to work with the public at a thankless job.  Don't spend the 5 minutes you are waiting in line to be PLEASANT.

My dad was like that.  Always looking for something to bitch about.  Talk LOUDLY about the waiter to one of us, "this is the WORST service I have ever seen blah blah" it's such a "I'M BETTER THAN YOU" thing.  It's a LOOKA ME! thing.  It's disgusting.  Jeff's dad does the same thing!

I will always take these people on.  Every time, every chance - it's like my personal mission in life.

Just be pleasant, for crying out loud. 

*kids prolly DO sit on their phones all the time, but I wasn't going to let him know that!*  :)

12 comments:

  1. As a bona fide card carrying member of the cranky old bastards club I am offended by the tone of this post. As soon as I can pass some smelly gas and simmer in my nastyass juices for the rest of the day I will feel much better.

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  2. Man, Gladys, I wish I had the pose to come up with those things so quickly (and the balls to actually say it!)
    First, what was the old dude looking at the teenage girls butt for anyway, hum? I'm sure I know, but I would've LOVED to point that out to him. "WHa? I didn't notice, it's in her butt pocket." or something.

    I saw this guy the other day at lunch. We were all outside under the covered patio. It's getting cold in our neck of the woods, so the space heater was on. He started bitching immediately that he wanted it off (after bitching that he didn't want to sit there because he might be cold. His wife, a sad little creature, instantly offered to run to the car and get it.) He didn't care that my kids-who were fine before he demanded the heater off, his wife, or any of the other patrons were cold. His poor wife was shivering. But he didn't care. He bitched at the waitress to hurry up and take car of it - "just flip the little switch. It's just like a light." he told the poor, overworked, and stressed (and, I'll admit, a bit of a sighing complainer herself) waitress. He complained that she couldn't immediately refill his tea, he complained about the dipping sauce on the side- it was homemade, the waitress said; it has DILL, he growled. He rolled his eyes and kept his arms crossed the entire lunch and said nothing to his wife.
    Man, when I'm old I hope I'm not cranky. I hope I remember that when I have nothing else to do, that a few minutes more won't hurt me. I hope I just remember my manners.

    By the way, this is just one of MANY stories I have. I'm not sure why they don't think manners or politeness is necessary once your past 65.

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  3. As you all know I'm a bonafide senior citizen myself but, damn, I hate cranky old people! If I start acting like the people you describe or even remotely like my parents, I've made my daughter promise to put a bullet between my eyes!

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  4. Jessie That Is the one good thing about aging. And that would be losing any sort of giving a shit what people think about you and losing the self restraint you used to practice that these people count on you having to not call them on their boorish behavior. It's a very liberating experience if you can get past all the indigestion.

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    1. I don't think geezers have cornered the market on assholery. A few months back, I was in the post office line (and I'll tell you something as someone who has mailed tons of stuff domestically and internationally, most of the post office hold ups are the idiots in line who show up with their packages unsealed, addressed and not sure how the whole mailing thing works) and this guy in his 50s or so starts yammering about the horrible post office service to which I told him that 1) they had staff and budget cuts that have HBO them and 2) most citizens are unwilling to pay a fair price for shopping and that he should try shipping the same envelope via FedEx oUPS for pocket change.

      I said this all very pleasantly, but I don't think he liked me taking the wind out of his sails.

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  5. That should read "hobbled" them. Not freaking HBO.

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  6. Yeah Q - it's nice that I'm old enough that I don't give a shit what those cranky people say back to me - I love that part of being 'old'.

    And Vi- no kidding about the postal fees! You try and send a letter any other way, for .35 cents, all the way across the country! Go ahead, go to UPS and see how much it costs you.

    This is the kind of thing that I say makes me a bitch. I just hate negativity, and that sentence right there is about as back-assward as you can get...

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  7. Cranky old people piss me off too, and I'm certainly in the potential pool of them. I would think by now, you'd realize it's not all about YOU. If you haven't learned that yet, you're not fit for human consumption, period the end. The kids (and everyone else) are OK-really: It's YOU that isn't!
    TW

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  8. Ooh, one other thing about being an old person-No one notices you! It's great-It's like you have this cloak of invisibility around you! So you can observe people unobserved, "in the wild" so to speak.
    Damn, people are interesting! And so delightfully, unintentionally funny especially when they're trying to attract (not "attack") a mate.
    (I have no doubt I sure as hell was too...!)
    TW

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    1. I LOVE that part of being old! It's weird, you spend so much of your life trying to get noticed and doing that mating dance, and then you get to a certain age and it's SO NICE to not worry about that crap anymore! SURE I miss having (younger) men really flirt with me, instead of just humor me, lol - but it's so much less stress.

      This 'being invisible' coupled with my Super Power of being invisible due to ACoN training, and I am unstoppable! Too bad I can't use my powers to steal huge chunks of money. Seems I'm not THAT invisible. Drat.

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  9. We should get all the cranky old men in a wrestling pit and have them go at each other.

    Q's Sis

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    1. Sis, that mental image is horrifying... :)

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