Thursday, March 20, 2014

Watching a train wreck

**EDIT** as of right now the narc is back in the VA hospital.  I am definitely saying I TOLD YOU SO but in my head.**

The SG lives with the parents.  He drank himself ->thisclose<- to death over 20 years ago and has lived with them ever since.

The GC is actually, depending on the day/moon phase/etc a title that bounces between Jeff and his sister.  Although, his sister has usually held that (dubious) crown.

These days - well, because the dad wants what he wants and is used to getting it RIGHT NOW, and the only person providing for every whim is the trapped SG - whelp, the SG is now the favorite.  And the SG is WORKING IT with every fibre of his being.
My FIL.  If he was a small female Asian child.  But it still fits.
This web of family crap in a family of a narcissist is never ending.  Yeah, I know - y'all are holding a hand to your mouth with raised eyebrows and squealing "really!?!" because WHAT A SHOCK.  It never ends.  Jayzhus fucking christ on a biscuit with cheese.

The latest:

FIL has been ill like a motherfucker these last 4 years, but in particular this last 6 months have been a merry-go-round from Hades what with all the problems and infections they both have suffered from/contracted.  The latest thing was when he vomited his own feces and aspirated some of it - they had to put him in a medically induced coma for 2-weeks.

*meanwhile MIL was released from the rehab nursing home for whatever the fuck was going on with her and so brother and MIL were at home enjoying a quiet time, feeling relief and probably a smattering of guilt but whatever*

Once it was determined that there was no real medical reason for this vomiting episode (which, what?  wtf?) he was brought out of his coma and he immediately and vehemently and with extreme WHININESS and FIT THROWING demanded to be sent home.  The hospital recommended another stay at the rehab/nursing home, because he couldn't even stand up on his own which made diapers and the attendant mess cleaning necessary.  He has chronic diarrhea and so the mess cleaning was just awful.  He also has MRSA and a coupla other bacterial infections that are pretty resistant to antibiotics and are transmitted through feces, and one of these has a shelf-life on hard surfaces of 7-10 days.  SO let's say you are cleaning one of those messes and you open the bathroom door to throw away some nasty things and you have then touched 4 surfaces and you are stressed and tired and only remember to clean 3 of those surfaces, including door knobs, counter tops, bed rails, trash cans, plastic containers of wipes, ointment tubes - well, you're looking at reinfecting everyone in a 3-mile radius.

The narc was undeterred in his demand to go home.  Home where his wife was still recovering from whatever shit she had and where his 53-year old son was there to help but is completely untrained and in denial about how bad things really are.  The sister, her husband, Jeff, and I VEHEMENTLY and LOUDLY opposed this decision.  Narc then told Jeff he was 'no longer welcome here (hospital)!  Keith will have to just help!  I mean, it was horrible in it's emotional manipulation and Jeff let it roll off his back, but because of my history I was horrified.  I was never on the phone to him, but even so the narc has now decided it was ME doing the most protesting and has hung a 'BETRAYER' sign around my neck which, ha, if he only knew the full extent but moving on.  I will take that role and also scream 'I TOLD YOU SO' here in about a week, but again, moving on *deep breath*

He went home.  Things WENT AS EXPECTED.  Which is to say, the brother had been having a fairly difficult time.  har.

Jeff's BIL (sister's husband) and their youngest son were in town here just recently and decided to stay at The Death Camp House with the narcs and the brother.  At this point Jeff's brother (the SG) decided he was going to DRIVE TO VEGAS TO WATCH THE AZTEC BASKETBALL GAME ON TV.  Which, whatever, dude deserves a break from the madness.  Narcs spent like $350 tuning up the car (they have no money, are on a limited budget, I have no clue), he borrows $200 FROM US IN CASH,  brother takes off.  Gets an hour out of town and the transmission goes out in Temecula.  Sister and BIL deal with that expense over the phone and brother finally gets back on his way to Vegas.  Now, from San Diego to Las Vegas is about a 5 or 6 hour trip.  Through the desert.  *sigh* there is nothing.  The rest stops are few and far between - once you get out of Barstow you are pretty fucked for anything until Las Vegas.  EXCEPT:  There is this little, dusty, horrifying gas station/fast food/truck stop town called Baker, California where a lot of us have typically stopped for one last gas/bathroom stop before driving the last 100 miles into Vegas.

(I refuse to drive to Las Vegas ever again, haven't for years.  Southwest charges $49 each way for a flight if you search the right times, and just HELL NO i'm not doing that drive.)

Just outside of Baker the car catches on FIRE.  Burns to a crisp at a rest stop.  He gets a ride from a cop to Baker, checks into one of the two post-war motels there.  Says car is totaled, that people were filming it and posting it to Youtube!  (I cannot find any mention of this on the internet, and if I can't find it, people it ain't there.)

Now the fun begins.  Narcs are carrying on, wailing and stamping their feet and even brother is getting in on it, demanding that someone go pick him up right now!

Nobody went.  Dude is 55-yrs old, has at least $500 (more likely $700) and is fine.  He decides to stay a second night in Baker - is surprised to find there is no Greyhound bus stop in that town and again, wants someone to go get him.  Nobody moves.  The dad is having a FIT.  Mom is saying 'baby Keith is stranded in the desert!' and dad is stamping his foot and trying to guilt someone into going to get Brother.  We all suggest he either just take a cab all the way to Vegas and enjoy himself on the rest of the money, get a cheap flight and come home, or take a cab back the other way to Barstow, and catch the Amtrak or a bus from there.
One of the two motels in Baker.
All of these suggestions are not what the Narc wants and madness ensues.  I (behind the scenes) have put my foot down and said no.  Jeff is adamant about not going to get him.  Sister and BIL feel the same way.  Mom mentions that I am somehow on 'her list' because we didn't volunteer to go.

BIL finds the bus station in Barstow, spends a night at a holiday inn (or whatever) and gets on the bus the next morning.  However, he got on the wrong bus and ends up in Vegas (nope - not making this up.  nope, nope, nope.)  Rents a car and drives home.  He has no credit card, so the rental place charges a fortune to the debit/Visa and so like $500 is now also tied up but $400 or so will be refunded at some point, like maybe 2 weeks for processing? *edit* he rented a car and the insurance is paying for it because car is totaled, so that's good

Meanwhile, BIL works in the car industry and has been tasked with finding a replacement car.  Sister has put her foot down about not financing a car which would be essentially for BIL.  More begging, pleading, ranting, whining ensues.  Burned car is finally located at a tow place charging $48/day (this should tell you how small this town is - in San Diego a tow yard charges over $300/day).  Arrangements are made for the insurance adjuster to call it a loss and an amount of $3,000 is bandied about as payment for the value of the car.  An additional $2,000 is deemed necessary to purchase a decent car (true as far as I know) but where that $2 grand is coming from is nebulous at best.  Things like 'cash in some stocks' and 'IRA' are tossed around.  I still feel like they are hoping there is a leprechaun holed up under that house.

SIL is asked to co-sign on a loan.  Answers no.  Her kid - this is a 22-year old kid - is begged, cornered, and guilted (tried) to staying with them and being charged with changing diapers and whatnot.  This is just as strongly refused.


Brother calls me (can't get ahold of Jeff) and says "Jeff's son once said he would pay $45/week for someone to help narc - is that still a viable option?" and my head exploded in what can only be called um...  an explosion.

The narcs are asking if ONE young-ish (30's) grandchild will pay another young grandchild a stipend every week to care for and deal with the narc.  When brother is with the narcs, is capable (although no longer willing) and has no other job or responsibility or obligation.  When the narc should have stayed at the fucking nursing home in the first place as this is just the scenario we all saw coming like a train.

I lost my damned fool mind.  The explosion was epic and I feel kinda bad about it because I blew up at Jeff.  But lord have mercy.

$350 (pre-trip tune up_
$700 (transmission repair)
$200 (borrowed from Jeff and Casey)
$80 (approx?  motel for 2 nights in Baker
$60 (approx? motel one night in Barstow)
$100 (approx - food/snacks/sundries.  He doesn't drink so there is that.)
$100 (at least, in gas for the car prior to inferno/carbecue)
$100 (I guess, ticket on greyhound from Barstow to San Diego I MEAN VEGAS WHOOPSIE)
$100 (maybe, for car rental plus gas)

$1,790 total (using my scientific estimations) for a trip to Baker, Ca.

AND they want:
More money for a car that only brother will drive.
Money from one grandchild to another grandchild and the obligation of wiping narcs ass from said grandchild

I look back on my family problems with a fondness I never thought possible.


  1. I wish I were more shocked at their behavior/demands.

  2. Good Lord. This is why narcs have kids: to hold them hostage and make sure someone will wipe their ass/pay their bills/clean up their messes when they are older. This is ridiculous.

  3. I'm laughing so I don't cry. You can't make this stuff up. -LuLoo

  4. Is this a movie script you're working on? You know, some kinda geriatric version of a "Hangover" type movie? Zak whats-his-name could play the BIL on the wrong way bud after the carbeque.

    Think about shopping this around to some producers, It's gold. Unless you're living it, of course.

  5. I'd much rather be ON the "Shit List" than the one cleaning it up...
    Vomiting feces is such a wonderful NP metaphor-maybe someone could take a pix of that and use it on their Profile, yk?!

  6. When my brothers were like 3 and 5, my mom used to say "when I get old, youll take care of me Natie (3), because Tyler (5) is too mean!" Already commandeering her retirement at age 36! It's all TOO familiar!