Thursday, October 18, 2012

Defending yourself from a bully

Have you seen this video?  I highly recommend.  It is very short.

This is a great example of how to get a bully to leave you the fuck alone.  That kid, the victim, didn’t go looking for trouble.  He just wanted that bully off his ass.  Was this cruel?  Was it a mean thing for the victim to do?  After all, that bully landed on his head - he could have been injured!

Ha.  No way in hell.  It was self-preservation, and it was the duty of that child to defend himself.  Reasoning, pleading, 10-page letters of why the bully had hurt him, saying 'stop it!' without enforcing the boundary - none of that works to stop a narc/bully.  If that victim had been my son, I would have ASKED for him to be expelled, and then I would have taken him to 3-days at Disneyland as a reward for his HEROIC actions.

That poor victim finally scared the shit out of that bully and more power to him.  He just wanted peace.  And now it seems he will have it.  Voilà.  Instant resolution.  And, in case I’m not clear – I feel NO PITY toward that bully.  He got what he deserved.  Blah blah who raised him!?  Poor child, it's his parent's fault!  WHATEVER.  The kid was a bully, and he got bested.  Don’t want him dead, just want him to stop.

It seems resonable to extrapolate this scenario out to how to get a narc to stop eating your soul.  As I have mentioned, the only way to get a predator to stop hunting you is to stop them in their tracks, with great and furious vengeance.  You simply have to do what this kid did in this video - let them see the danger they are in if they keep hunting you.

You are nothing more than prey to the predator.  You smell like fear and subservience and submission.  You are right where they want you, it's what they want from you.  And have you noticed that the narcs do not hunt or prey on people who do not fear them?  The school principal, for instance.  Doctors.  Anybody who sees through them, who does not acquiesce to the narcissists quest for power and control.  THOSE people are left alone, at least in public.  What is it that these people have that you do not have?  A lack of fear.

They have a complete disregard for the insanity of the narcissist.  They DISMISS THE NARC, like they would wave away a mosquito.  The narc has no power because there is no fear response.  Read that again.  The narcissist has no power when there is no fear response.

In order to remove your fear response, you have to get angry.  Anger smells very different from fear.  You must become angry enough to defend yourself.  To defend your spouse, or your children, or your pets.  ANGRY.  Do not confuse pacifism with weakness.  Your quest for peace begins with made and enforced boundaries.

Once an enemy is vanquished he can be allowed to live in peace from you.  Away from you.  But a vanquished enemy will never be a friend.  They will always need to fear (respect) you and your boundaries in order for YOU to live in peace from THEM.

It is your absolute DUTY to protect yourself.  To remove yourself from toxic people and situations.  You are the only guardian of your soul.  And the guardian of your family.  To allow yourself to continue to be hunted and preyed upon is the worst kind of cowardice.  Once you are awake - and in reading these blogs you have surely come awake in an almost violent way - once you are awake it is your responsibility to take action.

Narcissists have no power when you do not fear them.


  1. I think it's pretty funny. Having been on the receiving end of BS like that.
    Eff with the bull and you get the horn.

  2. The kid reached his breaking point and showed what he was capable of in an appropriate way, given the circumstance. Victim no more!! I want to high-five him.

  3. Amen.
    The "good news" I've learned over my lifetime is this: I don't care how much of a bully or bad-ass you THINK you are. Sooner or later, you're gonna meet your match.
    There's the bully's "Wake-Up" call, whether it's in the Corporate Boardroom or the Classroom Play Ground.
    It's commin', sooner or later and if you hadn't been "present" from the beginning what appears to be "Bullying" is actually a victim that said, "ENOUGH."
    And acted on that reality.

  4. Hell yeah more power to him, you can only push someone so far.