Wednesday, December 12, 2012

Gypsy Rose Lee

As in the act of the title character, what you DON'T see can be more important that what you DO see. In the interest of full disclosure (NO, not full dis CLOTHESure Q,)
Gypsy Rose Lee
I present:

My dining room - if you click you can see the labels.  Notice the lovely case of toilet paper hiding demurly under the table.  I might have less stuff, but that doesn't mean any of it gets put away... (yes there is liquor on the bottom shelf.  It doesn't interest me.  We're having an Xmas party, then it gets tossed)

Our bedroom.  It looks like burglars tossed the joint.  But I can't disturb my doggie to make the bed.

With minimalist decor, LESS IS MORE.  Less being NONE, in this case.

Here is the downside to the PREACHING i do about not having 'stuff'.  I know what I DON'T like, but I have no idea what I DO like.  So, I haven't figured out what to put on my blank walls.  It's a little, uh, ECHOEY in here (in here... in here...)

I did manage to hang photos.  The frame on the left with 4 openings?  still has the fake pictures
that came with the frame.  I'm a little SLOW. **OOH!  LOOK!  The roses Jeff got
me for my birthday.  They are dead and falling over.  It was on the 3rd.  9 days ago.**

It's been a year since we moved - I threw out so much stuff that I kinda can't afford to buy it ALL back yet.  you MIGHT want to consider that part before you fill the dumpster, is all I'm saying...Also, put your toilet paper away.

I got to looking at the pictures I had posted and it made me laugh.  Pshyeah, right.  My house looks like that.  I DON'T WORK and my toilet paper hasn't gotten put away.  I'm a BALL OF MOTIVATED FIRE.
What're YOU lookin' at?


  1. Are those the shrunken heads of your parents on your liquor cabinet in the dining room?

    1. I WISH! I have been searching for a card a friend gave me years ago, I think it was Larson byt I can't remember. Kid had 3 wishes, had both parents in jars already and told the Genie "naw, I don't need that last wish, I'm good' or something to that effect. My FRIENDS knew. Wish I had saved that card, I'd frame it...

    2. i think the cartoonist was Gahan Wilson but I have SEARCHED for it. Him or Larson. DAMMIT it fits us all so well too.

    3. I was gonna say that sounds more like Larson, but then I got to thinking. Wilson is a sick fuck too.
      You'd have to toss a coin.

  2. Gladys, I still don't have anything but a blank wall above my couch. I recently found just the right thing to put up there-I told ya about it a few Posts ago-the thing I drug home from the little corner store? I'm having "technical difficulties" in that I want to put some small, clear Xmas type-light thingys inside the frame. No, you won't actually see the strand of lights, just the glow from them. Kinda like good ol' Gypsy Rose. I have the lights. Guess what I got rid of when I moved? My staple gun. Because my hands don't work right and I'm more likely to staple my fingers than, well, what ever.
    BUT! I'm workin' on it: Once these weird-ass lesions that have suddenly appeared on my finger tips clear up (if they ever do?) I'll borrow a staple gun. And promptly staple my finger(s) to the light strand and the inside of the frame of this thing which weighs about ohh....25 lbs? My little housekeeper keeps eye-balling that "decorative item" and making little "observations" about how come it's still propped up on the floor against a rocker in the second BR. She'll be back again next Mon. (oh shit, all ready?) but I plan to derail any more comments by giving her the usual-Xmas card with 2 weeks pay. AKA, A BRIBE.
    So yes. There's a down-side to down-sizing. I wished I had kept all my old oil lamps my late DH found at an auction. But the rest of it? Nope. I can borrow a staple gun. And maybe Housekeeper's DH to help.
    But then I can send them "home" when I don't need 'em any more! ;)

  3. TW. I would tell that bitch she's lucky you don't duct tape her to that rocker ala Norman Bates.

  4. q, We HAD a little, ahh.."Discussion" regarding certain things late last summer. Honestly, she does NOT "Get It." She is not the brightest bulb yet she really does mean well. Yes, she frustrates me half to death sometimes but I'm sure I absolutely perplex her....with all those things in frames hanging on what was formerly a blank wall in my BR she knows I'm not someone to fuck with. BUT! I'm sure she wonders how someone who "must be smart" doesn't get all OCD about dust, cat fur, running the roads constantly and BUYING MORE SHIT and immediately using it. sigh.
    It's "Detante" and I do believe that's about the best it's gonna get. IMO, she's just a really, really anxious person and her anxiety manifests itself all over the place. Without a Filter. Her DH is a sweetie and he "gets" her. We've had discussions about her: She just is who she is and I've accepted that. I don't have to live with her and sometimes she is a fantastic source of unintended humor for me.
    Even if she DOES come every other Mon. shortly after 7AM. Who needs coffee when you have the Energizer Bunny commin' through your front door dragging a vacuum that's about as big as she is, a large bucket with gawd-knows-what (body parts? dead fish? Baked goods for me? Could be ANYTHING in there) first thing Mon. AM?!

  5. She would be much more manageable in the chair. Then you could focus on managing the smell and nothing more. Of course the smell go's away after a few months. Or so I'm told. I mean how would I really know unless I had someone duct taped to a chair.
    I mean I do but I get rid of them before they get that less than fresh scent going.

  6. I think I need more of the story of TW and The Housekeeper...

  7. ^Yeah, agreed.
    OK, a good-lookin' fake plant (I that an oxymoron?) in that corner might be good. The TP under the kitchen table? Huh. If you had my GI System, that'd look like a right smart idea! But then I'd have the Housekeeper pestering me to death about why it's THERE..."Because I didn't put it away yet."
    "Oh.....(silence, sweet silence....then-) "Want me to put it away for ya?"
    "No, thanks. I'll get to it-"
    "But I'm RIGHT HERE! Here-(crawls under the table, shrieks-)OMG! Have you SEEN the CAT FUR UNDER HERE?????"
    "Ahhh, no. But I wasn't looking for-"
    "I'll take care of it RIGHT NOW just as soon as I put this TP away! Now, where does it GO?"
    "Ahh, just put it on top of the table, OK?" (Gawd help me if she sees the inside of THAT closet) Housekeeper now has the TP in a death-grip, she has that look on her face that says she's either just smoked some crack or has been shootin' Energy Drinks since 1AM. It is now 7:03AM, I have been up for 4 min. (maybe?) The damn coffee hasn't finished perkin' yet and I've got a 5' (maybe?) woman-with-a-mission starin' me down and I still can't quite stand up straight yet and my bones are doing their usual snap-crackle-pop-morning-thing.
    "Well, you're NOT gonna KEEP it ON TOP of the TABLE ARE YOU??"
    "No. I hadn't planned to keep it there indefinitely, just until I can have some coffee, OK?" (I can not believe I am explaining this to her but somehow, I am)
    "I'll just put it in with the paper towels"-and oh shit, she's heading for the closet where I stuffed some other stuff and is opening the door and now a case of paper towels is falling off the top shelf and Housekeeper lets out a yelp-
    "OMG! TW! Did you SEE what's IN HERE???" (actually, yes. I put it all IN there, ya twit) "I'll HELP YOU re-arrange this closet, OK?"
    And on and on it goes. By the time she leaves, I'm diggin' around for xanax, valium ANYTHING. It takes hours for me and the cat to calm down after she leaves. See what I mean? She means well, but I just can't deal with much 4 min. after I've crawled out of the time she leaves I feel like one of those bobble-head things people put on the back shelf of their cars, yk? AND she calls between "Home Visits" to "Check on me" and THAT drove me absolutely insane and THAT is what lead to the last discussion referred to in the above comment. Aye, aye, aye.....

    1. Good lord. I'd prefer the silent taciturn type myself, but if she gets the job done... I'd be in prison for manslaughter (extenuating circumstances mitigating the MURDER charge) (irritation factor PLUS 12).