Friday, December 28, 2012

Thirty-Seven Days

5 weeks.  I don't even really think about it anymore.

Las Vegas is going to cause me to take a mulligan out on that number tho.  Just being honest here - but I also know that Vegas is going to be quite different this time around.  I will probably be able to actually keep track of how many V&Ts I have the whole trip.  Before, I couldn't have told you how many in a day.  Or even before noon.  NOT LYING HERE.  The number wont be huge.  And I'll be hauling my adorable ass back up on the wagon on the last day.  Perhaps my feeling of being in control is an illusion.  I don't think so, but then, does anyone ever?  Too deep for me just yet.

I just - well, I feel better.  I look better.  I sleep.  I can play that tape all the way to the end and it sucks every time.  I'm not really tempted.  Why so easy?  I dunno.

But it's so fucking BORING.  Blah blah blah.  BORED.

My post about jesus didn't get much interest.  I was hoping for some discussion of jesus causing a riot!  damn.  wahhh.  OH I'm a pain in the ass.  I need attention.  I'M ON FIRE!  put ME out!!  blech.

I hope y'all had a PLEASANT Yule.  'Pleasant' is a great word.  It's a quiet word - there are never any FiReWoRkS in a pleasant day.  There WOULD, however, be a book.  Some good music.  The right kind of weather (sun!  snow!  wind!  whatever).  A scenic view.  Yeah, PLEASANT

My sentiments exactly.


  1. It's the deafening silence. It's that the straight lines never get all blurry and fuzzy and blend together in a mosaic of warmth.
    Sometimes pleasant isn't enough for me.

    1. *sigh* yeah - it'd be nice to go from 'pleasant' and turn the knob to 'great' or 'fan-fuckin-tastic' but I'm so used to it going the other way, to 'shitty' and then sliding off the edge into 'fuck me' territory. I guess I've been sledged into just cherishing 'pleasant'.

      I dunno why I feel so numb right now. I have a bitch of a cold that's lasted for a week, I'm sick of the taste of Afrin and nose-gunk. It's cold here but no snow and my lips are chapped. I AM A LAUGH RIOT right now, I need a time-out.

      ULB's - want to meet me in the Bahamas at a pool bar? we can sing some Buffet and eat burgers and drink a toast (iced tea!) to another year of fun and games!

    2. I like mine with
      lettuce and tomato's
      Heinz 57
      And french fried potato's

    3. See, Q? THIS is why I'm madly in love with you.

    4. PEA ESS - yes. THAT is why it's so boring. There is no fuzzy stuff, only straight lines, only reality. I DO miss the slow slide into buzzed. I'm just not good at being drunk.

      I wonder if I'll ever get used to just BEING. I don't like myself much, that may be a problem. I'm just USED to me.

  2. Count down to Vegas! Let us commence.....OK, that took about 30 sec., now what? ;)
    After my Catholic School experience in the '50's and '60's I kinda lost much interest in all things Religious-other than avoiding it if at all possible. But the Post on the riot was great, IMO.
    Gladys, you're a researcher at heart for sure. Now if we could just figure out a way for you to use that skill and maybe even make $$ doing that-hey, work that was! And interesting! And on your own time! If you became a PI, it would absolutely improve my opinion of said "profession" which currently remains in the toilet.
    What sez you?

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    2. OH TW - THAT is exactly what I would love to spend my time doing! I'm so serious - to be a PI has really been a dream. The research kind, not the running-after-bad-guys kind. To track assholes - I love it. I am finding, however, that sometimes you open a can of shit you aren't really sure you want to sniff...

      I have an uncle. He was a Senator. He was a SUPREME COURT JUSTICE. He was a war (WW2) hero. I've tracked him (not too hard since they named fucking libraries after him) and see, you KNOW that a politician didn't get to where he is without knowing powerful people on BOTH sides of the law. He had/has connections. He could have removed us, or tracked us afterwards. So why did that man leave us girls alone with his sister who was completely bi-polar, an abusive alcoholic, drug addict, a whore? Then let us get removed by dad, who you all know and love. I contacted him via his son, a cousin I never knew. Now another cousin has contacted me too. And none of these kids knew about us either. So my point is, WHAT in the FUCK was up. Do I want to know the answer?

      Because the only answer I see so far is that HE LEFT US THERE. What else matters?

      Also, he knows who I am, where I live, how much money we make - he either knows or COULD know - because of his connections. He could have known what was going on with his sister's kids.

      Why do I still care?


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